Harvard Business Publishing

David, you've struck a painful cord. I couldnt agree more with every sngle thing you've listed. However, based on my personal experience i'd like to add few more things.

1. Having judgements clouded by personal animosities and friendships.
2. Raising status of incompetent individuals to that of key management members on the basis of personal likes and dislikes.
3. Communicating with just "one" management member instead of all key people regarding company's progress and updates.
4. Constantly wrapped up in scheming and manipulation thus creating distrust among team members.
5. Instead of praising employees several yeard of hardwork, retaliate with demoralizing comments such as are you a good manager?
6. Accusing competent people of 'constantly compalining' when they approach the boss with their grievances.
7. Believing in the philosophy of promise them everythign but give them nothing.
8. Complete centralization of power.

A friend (who wishes to remain anonymous for fear of signaling to the boss their true feelings) has recommended a book called The Ten Commandments for Business Failure. Don Keogh, Former President of Coca-Cola and now at Allen and Co, is the famous author who apparently has known many a boss like mine. My friend says, "It would be a good accompanying read to your list..."

http://www.amazon.com/Ten-Commandments-Business-Failure/dp/1591842344/

Great post David, couldn´t agree more.

more...

- Promote only from outside the organization and promote above all other current titles and responsibilities inside the organization, making the glass ceiling a reality that can be clearly seen instead of some invisible window-glass-like-thing.

- Talk about things unrelated to business that are typical 'touchy subjects' in meetings. i.e. Politics, Religion and Sex.

- Promote interoffice romance and then choose a side when the relationship goes south.

- Do not keep coffee, soda or condiments in the office for employees. This is not a free ride.

- Ignore complaints about the temperature in the office. Move the thermostat to what you want. Ensure everyone stays on their toes and has plenty of extra clothing in the office in case they have to pull an all-nighter.

I'm sure I have forgotten something, but the list is so long and I have TPS reports piling up here....

Great post! This list sounds exactly like the manager at my former company's personal manifesto. The only things I might add: "Don't let your employees voice a differing opinion than you, for if they do, it is surely meant as an attack on your intelligence" and "Don't be afraid to let your employees take the fall for an oversight on your behalf. That's what they're there for."

Wow, you are truly in my head. I have a boss that embodies at least 5 of the points you noted -- exactly! I could add more, but I'm afraid no one would believe me. I'll just say job well done.

I really think those are great actions should be implemented by the managers, and frankly I personally experienced when a Department head acted in similar way as mentioned in the article, it appeared to me that the employees were more productive and efficient. However, I have to point out a crucial point: Managers should not get carried on using mean strategies; they have to act SMART, in away to bring the total welfare (for the employees and the manager himself/herself). This means that a tradeoff will be faced from both sides
The strategies mentioned here, it’s true they are tough and difficult to live with for employees, however, the real world facts, forces us to agree with them. And respect those managers who hold those CHARISMAS!

Yesterday my boss emailed everyone in the office to let us know that he was going on vacation - starting yesterday. I would have appreciated knowing a few days in advance!

Please add these:

Low decibel "discussions" about the lack of your report's skills and abilities are no way to ensure motivation. The louder you are when pointing out any of their "failings", the better it is for the employees' memories.

The only time you should speak with your employees is when you are telling them what areas they must improve or start looking for other employment.

By all means send your employees to carry out petty errands especially those that remind them how subordinate they are to you and how unlikely they are to catch up in the rat race e.g. send your secretary to buy one personal use item that costs more than their entire salaries.

You are the boss. You are right. Period.

1) Make office hours 8:30-5:30 then don't give anyone time to eat lunch. Or hassle them if they leave for lunch. Hungry employees don't have the strength to disagree.

2) Ask your creative leaders to come up with creative ideas, then tell them they're wrong and insert your own ideas.

3) Never trust your designers to make judgment calls on color, layout, typography, imagery.

4) Send lots of emails over the weekend and make sure to ask what input they have first thing Monday morning.

5) Push back annual reviews as long as possible, even the next quarter, then don't give back pay for raises. This will improve company financial stability.

6) Demand that employees develop and stick to process but don't follow it yourself. This will keep them second guessing the process.

7) Refuse to use the global calendar, and schedule plenty of meetings for others. Don't tell them until a few minutes before that they are needed in a meeting.

8) Set up a pitch meeting, brief your creative team in the car on the way to the meeting, put them on the spot to come up with strategies in front of the client.

9) DO NOT make in investment in hardware and software. Use intern's student ID to purchase or expect employees to bring in their own.

10) Complain that "no one is killing themselves" on projects when, in fact, they don't even have time to think about what they're doing.

11) Do no research, competitive analysis,or internal reviews. Just "bang stuff out" and bill the client as little as possible. This lets you do two things:
a) always underbid the competition
b) load up on projects

Great post. Here are some additional thoughts:
1. Don't provide your employees with all the information they need to do the job. That enables you to swoop in, save the day, and undermine your employees while demonstrating to them why you're essential.
2. Yell at your employees when they don't follow your directions. To make an example of them, this is best done in a public place, like the hallway or lobby; if you yell at them behind close doors, no one will know how the employee blew the assignment. Remember: Probably the problem is that they did not hear you the first time -- not the fact that you did not provide them with complete information the first time.
3. When things go well, make sure higher ups know you were responsible as the manager. When things don't go well, make sure to blame people on the team.
4. If an employee has key information but is on vacation, feel free to call him/her. (That's why you asked for their vacation contact information before they left -- right?) They don't stop being employees just because it's vacation.

That's quite the post! I love the Change your Mind one.. Please change it -- several times a day.. Employees love nothing better!

Michael Scott is an amazing boss if you don't have to work for him. Imagine how many times he would've been fired in the Office for pulling some of the Shenanagins he does every day.

Quit whining, While working you are doing what the government wants anyway.

Hi, David. I really enjoyed your post.

I have a bad-boss issue that I haven't seen mentioned yet in the comments: the boss who treats you as his/her confessor and therapist, and shares hair-raising details from his/her private life.

I had such a boss when I worked part-time at the headquarters of global financial institution while in graduate school. My boss -- let's call her Sandra -- was very good to me in many ways, and it was a great job to have. But she regularly regaled me with things I really didn't want to hear.

I'm talking intense stuff. Marital rape. Abortion. Having her mother tell her at her brother's funeral: "I wish you'd died instead." Her mother's alcoholism. Her own (unacknowledged) struggles with anorexia.

I'd go in her office at 7:45 a.m. to share a coffee and get my instructions for the day, and the next thing I knew, she'd be telling me about the time her financier ex-husband, drunk, punched her in the mouth.

I was sympathetic -- how could I not be? -- but it was a bit much sandwiched between mundane task instructions and delivered in the same brisk, bright tone they were. Relatively new to the work world then, I valued the trust implied by her telling me these tales, even as I was discomfited by hearing them. I tried to think of ways to get her to stop unloading on me, but I couldn't think of any way to do so without horribly hurting and offending her, and possibly compromising my job.

Driving most of her behavior was an explosive mix of need (for love, attention, approval) and denial (that she needed professional help, that it was all right to discuss such matters with one's part-time assistant), but the blurring of professional and personal identity also played a part. She was a successful executive at a high-profile global institution. Well before an era of "always on" executives, she lived and breathed the organization. As far as I could tell, she didn't have more than a handful of friends who did not work for this corporate behemoth.

(My colleague Paul Michelman just wrote an interesting post about the blurring between one's personal and professional lives: "I Want My Private Life Back.")

She wasn't a bad boss overall. She did many good things for me, and I was fond of her and mostly enjoyed working for her. But I still wish I didn't know all that I know about her life.

I used to work for a law firm that was managed by an out of state office. Here are a few "bad management tips" I learned there:

1. Direct deposit a decent holiday bonus, only to void the transaction and replace it with less than half that amount "because we changed our minds."

2. At the annual beginning of a new year rah-rah meeting, tell your employees how wonderful they are but remind them that "people are submitting great resumes to us every day," i.e. there are people standing in line to take your job. And tell them that they are doing great, but it could be better. Gee thanks.

3. Send out long emails about the economy and national job woes and pretend to care that your firm employs people you only see once or twice a year. Intimate that the firm may be cutting jobs, too, but don't come out and say anything meaningful.

4. Base individual pay raises on the whole department's performance, not individual performance, regardless of the nature of the department's work (some areas of law make more than others).

5. Allow one of the attorneys in your firm to screw a staff member out of a new position simply because that staff member's cube is near his office, so she knows "confidential information about his cases." Ha! Then, turn around and fire her.

All I can say is that the firm's founder, now deceased, would be rolling in his grave, even if he did help get OJ acquitted.

Brilliant post! I've had to deal with most of these before but #6 was my favorite!

Hire a trainee with no training program in place. They can just shadow someone and pick it up. Assign them to the surliest, least cooperative person in the department. Imply this might be his replacement just to keep him on his toes. After 3 months fire new them as untrainable. Hire another trainee.

David

Thank you for this. As hilarious as it is, it's sadly a far-too common managerial style. I had the misfortune of working in such an environment once, and I would like to add my two cents:
- Tasteless jokes during conference calls
- A constant stream of foul language, racist commentary, and none-too-subtle sexual harassment
- Extreme cronyism
- General ambivalence - if not outright hostility - to approaches other than your own
- Constant references to "the team" or "the family" when what you've really created is a personality cult
- Organizing meetings away from your home city and then not showing up

More:
Rule 1) No decisions without boss' approval.
Rule 2) Boss:
a. is not in building yet today, and/or
b. has gone to Las Vegas without telling anyone, and/or
c. has door closed with "Do Not Disturb AT ALL!!" sign, and/or
d. has office phone set on direct-forward to voice mail, and/or
e. does not answer e-mail, and/or
f. does not retrieve paper messages from office mailbox, and/or
g. has left for the day.

I good percentage has to do with ethnics, I have a middle eastern manager who has his own ways of management. It took a while to adjust but I find him being one of the best managers I've had. In order to sync up and work as a team, I suggest you sit with your manager and ask what he/she expects from you and what your goals are, keep track of your activities. If your just riding the waves at your job, then stop bitching.

You're all a bunch of damn whiners! No wonder none of you have 'risen' to the upper ranks...you have this 'victim' attitude even at work for crying out loud!

When you accepted the job, you sold your time to that company. For that price, the company expects you to perform the tasks they have laid out for the position. And to do so in whatever time frame they want it. It is not just their right, it is their obligation to schedule the time you sold them as they see fit. You DO NOT HAVE A SAY-SO in these matters!!!!! Do not forget you SOLD your time, which included any "rights" to it. This is what a company buys when they hire you. Oh, sure, it'd be nice to think that they company valued your input, and treated you "fairly", but folks, get over it. The company is in business to make money. They ARE NOT in business to provide jobs. They want your assistance in making money, and they made you an offer for your time. You accepted, the 'deal' is done. Live with it, or go sell your time to someone else!

There is NO SUCH THING as a "Bad Boss" or for that matter a "Bad Employee". Sometimes one of these 'deals' goes sour, and an employee or a boss leaves the company. It doesn't make that person "Bad", (unless they were involved in illegal activities of course).

but STOP WHINING ABOUT IT!

Here are a couple:
1. Support your employees in private, but abandon them in public.
2. At any given time of the year, pick one employee to be on your sh*t list, one employee who is golden, and then leave the rest to indifference. Change employees' status with the seasons.

...and to The Boss, who said, '"There is NO SUCH THING as a "Bad Boss" or for that matter a "Bad Employee",' I reply, "Yes there is, and you are wrong."

Go into someone's office when they're out to lunch, crawl under their desk and unplug the external hard drive they're using as ancillary storage. manage to completely wreck it so the data is unrecoverable. Then blame the person from whom you stole the hard drive because the data on it is lost. Your logic? They were using it as a hard drive. "Apologize" by saying you're sorry it happened instead of that you're sorry for screwing it up.

God. What a moron.

1. Don't let anyone read ANY faxes, and instruct the 16 Yr old office "snitch" to guard any new incomings with her life.

2. If a employee gets in early each day, make sure you accuse them of inefficiency, even though they come in early due to public transport issues...

3. Send in a security guard with a gun to throw out an employee on shot notice for being rude to the boss, then send in slime bag employees to do the counseling and deny there was ever a gun.

4. Select incompetent staff, tell the others they are the best pick and make them the boss of that division.

5. Do a staff survey and then doctor the results. "The Data? hmm that must be in my office, I'll find it if you really want? But is it that important? hmm lets move on shall we?"

6. Hire a consultant that wastes peoples time with games, say how wonderful it is and how it's so important, then ignore their ideas... In fact sack them just as they are about to make some sense out of the situation saying "we can't afford to do this now..."

7. Cry out to the team to make things sustainable then 12 months later say "Sustainability, in our industry... what sort of silly ideas is that?"

8. Hire a new manager, give him the exercise of interviewing (chatting to staff) and then build a company structure from there, then tout this flimsy diagram as the new structure... when he leaves 24 months later don't replace him. Let all his good work blow away with the dust.

9. Get known for being a great networker, go to all the important meetings all over the place then tell the board of directors others are not performing.

I always like the "its your job, fix it" line when they've made the mistake that messed things up in the first place.

1. Promise the customer whatever they ask for, then go back to your programmers and ask if it's possible.

2. Stalk young female employees. Be sure to leave lots of e-mail and voicemail messages to incriminate yourself.

3. Sell your company to a larger company. Make lots of money by inflating your sales projections. Then piss off that company so much they fire all of your employees. Oh, and then commiserate with your employees about how terrible that big bad company is.

David:

As your good friend and business partner, I know you have suffered the incompetencies of bad managers. And, I am very glad to see the list expand with the many great comments you have received.

Here are a few more Bad Boss Habits from my experiences:

1. Never tell anyone where you are; even if you are on vacation.

2. Respond to email requests for feedback or decisions days and weeks later.

3. Make every conversation a "tennis match" by responding with "why" to every statement an employee makes.

4. Always use the speakerphone for all phone calls so that you can carry on three conversations at once.

5. Never acknowledge a new idea; if its a good idea, make it your own.

6. Never delegate a decision; never make a decision; criticize anyone attempting to make a decision.

7. Set meetings with clients, then ask employees for a meeting agenda an hour before the meeting.

8. Ask employees to draft documents, then tell them they don't know squat about the subject.

Now, what I want to hear from you are the habits that you would bring to your employees. In my next post, I will offer some of my thoughts of these "good" habits.

Oh, dear. Apparently, David, you worked for my current boss.

And, Jack, #8 happens to us with shocking regularity. I recently wrote a report that resulted in substantial funding for the NPO I work for, and evidently know less about the area than my boss. Since it is my area of expertise, and certainly not theirs, this is particularly difficult to swallow.

I'd add:
1. create policy governing every conceivable aspect of your employees lives -- both at work and outside work; and then violate as many as possible. Only by making yourself an exception to every available policy and regulation can you truly highlight their existence for your staff.

2. Make sure your staff never have opportunities for professional development. Attend as many of these opportunities as you can, while telling them it is not relevant to their duties. Then, expect them to conduct the activities for which you've denied them learning opportunities.

3. Only delegate tasks you're bored with. That way, your employees don't get the mistaken impression that they can make a valuable contribution to the organization.

Great article, David!
peace,

1. Never say hello or offer any other personal greeting to your employees. Pass them in the hallway and avoid eye contact. This will cause all of them to bond together--like a team--talking about you and how socially retarded you are. It will cause the co-dependent ones to wonder why you don't like them, why you are mad at them. They will do their best to make it not so. A team atmosphere and employees motivated to always do better is what you want, right?
2. Tell all of the managers and directors who report to you that their job is to MANAGE UP. Their employees will increasingly dislike working for them and will leave the organization, but you will be happy because you are taken care of and the company did not need those BLOCKERS anyway.
3. Tell your employees that you feel guilty when they work longer hours than you do. And don't forget to close the door on your way out. Employees love to know you are thinking of them.

1. Belittle people who have the nerve to get sick or to request a vacation day.

2. Don't communicate changes in the organization and then criticize your managers for not being able to keep up.

3. Don't fix any processes. That way you can be the hero when you attempt to bail out your overworked staff.

And ... my personal favorite:

4. If someone has a medical issue and is trying to keep up with the workload, appear supportive and ensure that other people make accommodations AND then use that as an example of "missing deadlines" on a performance review !!!

Yeesh.

Tell your "team" that they don't need to involve you in certain decisions (make sure to emphasize how you don't want to be a micro-manager); then get upset when they do make those decisions (because, of course, they were the wrong decisions).

Jeez you people are small minded. Who told you life was going to be easy, or that your boss would sing your praises and wash your feet each morning?

Yeah, there are some people that aren't very nice and aren't very smart. If that's your boss, too bad. Suck it up and get back to work, or start your own company so that you can be the boss.

In general, the people that whine like this don't have what it takes to start a company anyway.

Don't hit on your employees, because everyone knows this will get you fired. Instead, hit on the cute blonde that works for one of your peers/friends. Show up in her cube every day for no good reason, stare licentiously at her chest, and discuss borderline-inappropriate topics, like how "out of touch" your wife is and my, that skirt really flatters your figure. Try to pick an employee of a friend who has the same MO, so you can tag team eachother's employees and CYA. If they complain, you'll be able to laugh it off and insist that she's blowing it all out of proportion.

Most likely this one is already up there, but since it was my greatest grievance in my last position I will share it just in case it was overlooked.

1) Hire an employee to perform a particular job with specific goals that must be met, and proceed to give them work that you yourself really should be doing as it is not in their job description. When they fail to meet minimum requirements of original job description, thanks to and despite having exceeded in doing extraneous work you are responsible for, fire them. Who needs a hard worker with incentive anyways?

2) Under no circumstances must you ever seem to care about your employees' work-place grievances, or else they'd start to get it into their heads that you are good at your job. Employees need motivation, and anger and frustration are the best fuel!

1) Hire your wife to be a team manager
2) No matter how often she tells you how horrible at their jobs the team is, believe every word she says (even if it is for hours each day)
3) When your employees complain about your wife's inappropriate behavior, tell them that they aren't team players
4) Don't forget to stare at your female employee's breasts while doing 3), it will remind them how much you think of them

Management has always struck me as the vocation of those who are incapable of doing the tasks that actually produce income. I have a couple true ones to add.
1. Incentivise your employees to motivate them to produce, but always reserve the right to change the incentive program, without notice and retroactive to a date of your choosing, just in case you feel they are being overly rewarded for their production.
2. Make it absolutely impossible to order imperitive office supplies in any reasonable time frame, but allow your buddy from the country club, who happens to be in the business, to ship in 1000 times as much custom printed stationary, envelopes, and business cards as you will ever need in the next 50 years.
3. Hire 'consultants' at exhorbitant rates to tell you exactly what the rank and file have known for the past 3 years.
4. Arrange bi-annual manditory meetings run by human resources to drive home the point of just how lucky your employees are to have a job and prepare personalized handouts (on the aforementioned stationary) inflating the company contributions to the welfare of its employees, down to the electricity running the refrigerator in the lounge.

You did forget a couple of fine examples from the government accounting world:

1. If you have an audit finding, make sure to take the report from the person who is truly responsible for fixing it and change the name on it so you get credit on the world wide web for "fixing a massive loss".
2. From the budget office: Tell all of the programs that they are going to have to cut out the "unnecessary items" including toilet paper (they can bring from home), paper (steal from your children's school), laptop (just too expensive, and you can use a pencil and paper), and the map for driving is not worth the ink because you should know where you are going anyway.... Then get yourself a nice big fat raise with the money you "saved the agency by the stringent controls in place".

My personal favorite around TPS report time, because I should be in on Sat-ur-day. Yeah, and I am not sure if you know it is a full day, um, yeah.

Wow! Apparently this has hit a nerve, the nerve's root, and all the way to the spinal cord. Not only are there a lot of comments here, but I've also gotten a ton of emails personally with more bad boss stories.

Thanks to everyone for commenting (even the "bosses" who think we're all whining children).

Clearly something has gone wrong between the theories and teaching of management and its practice in the real world. And while one poster recommended we all go start our own companies, that's obviously not going to work--because sooner or later those new companies will have to hire people, who will likely develop the same problems with their self-made bosses.

I will try to post a follow up soon to try and explore this challenge.

One more which happens with great regularity:
Spend the day chatting on the phone with your family and friends. Invite colleagues who are also your friends to the office for a chat. At 4:00 pm, drop all the work for the day on your assistant's desk and tell him/her you need it first thing in the morning.

I had a boss about twenty years ago who at 27 still had a lot to learn about management. He either was the biggest liar in the world or he suffered from early-onset Alzheimer's. He used to tell me how to do one thing and then later swear he never said that and that I must be making it up. I would quote him directly and he would deny ever saying the thing. He also would tell us exactly how the computers work despite a) Not having a computer on his desk and b) Ergo, not knowing how to use ours, which were, at the time, ten-year-old Wang word processors (remember them?) "The computer CAN'T do that because the IT director says they can't!" Me: "Well he's wrong then because I've witnessed the computer doing exactly that several times."

I was the manager of a department at the time and he used to yell at me because the spelling of my employees was so gawdawful. I reminded him that we had interviewed dozens of candidates, made them take spelling tests, and all the ones who could spell weren't interested in the job when they found out what it paid. I also reminded him that he had told me to bring in the stack of rejected resumes (because they flunked the spelling test and a few others we had too) and that we sifted through them picking out a few candidates which we then hired. I also pointed out that HE made the decision on the alcoholic and HE also hired the fuzzy-headed extremely religious person who had no brains, no emotional stability, and who suffered a nervous breakdown in the middle of my department when she threw away her meds because "If I have enough faith in my favourite deity I will be all right." But oh no, those were both my fault, despite the fact that Fuzzy-Headed Religious Nut was hired before I was.

Here's one: "Rules are for other people. HR guidelines are for other people. Standards are for other people. You set the rules; you are not bound by them. Other people walk your talk."

Great Job,

I couldn't agree more. it is tempting to add more points, but you have already captured the whole dilema in a holistic manner.

Sincerley yours

OH GOD! Now I can see people really hate their bosses!

Does anyone have sth nice to say?

For government employees:

1. Offer tuition reimbursement, but never grant it. Afterall, Ethical Decision Making is NOT job related. (True story!)

2. When your car runs out of gas, bring a gas can to work and siphon off the county car.

3. Change the policy/procedure. DO NOT notify the employees it impacts. Write them up when they violate the unknown policy and make sure they get a suspension day for it!

4. Tell the little guy, "Sorry, we aren't doing anything for 'bring your child to work' day." Make sure the newspaper prints a nice article about how the organization had such a nice program for their employees the next day.

5. If your lowly employees complain about ANYTHING, let them know in no uncertain terms that Burger King is hiring.

6. Make sure the supervisors yell demeaning comments across the work area. No one is allowed to curse or yell except the supervisors. This might offend someone if anyone else does it.

7. Frequently review disciplinary actions to be sure it is meted out according to who you like and who you don't.

8. Send an employee an "atta-boy" email. Copy all the management. Make sure to tell said employee that the email was really just to point out to management that they should be paying more attention to employees than what you are or are not doing.

To the 'bosses': Can't you take some constructive criticism? We're neither victimized nor whiners. We're the thankless ones who support you. You need to suck it up and pay attention.

David,
This is the hottest Blog of the year!!

Everyone has covered the "bad boss habits" quite effectively. can we have a piece next week oh some ideas on how to deal with these bosses!

Thanks All, including the bosses who are brave enough to read and acknowledge that they need to do some work on employee relations!

To begin with, I consider Joseph Heller's "Catch 22" to be not a work of fiction, but a compendium of American business management practices.

Back in the 60s or 70s, the English humor magazine, "Punch," ran an article suggesting that every manager needed a special coin in his desk drawer that he could flip before any meeting with an employee. On one side, the coin said, "Don't bother me with that." On the other it said, "Nobody ever tells me anything."

Check around: Almost no manager you know has ever had any management training whatsoever. Almost all have learned what they know about management by being mismanaged.

You forgot this one...

-Pretend to be friends with your employees, then use everything they tell you against them.

Pull your "team" together and make sure that you have all of your work that you have ever started and not finished in a BIG Pile and tell them how busy you are and then take 2 hour lunches and talk on personal calls very loudly with the door open while laughing hilariously.

Make sure that you don't tell them anything from the managers meeting that affects their job duties and then expect them to just know it when the time comes. See how important you are?

When you are the big boss, you need to blow in from out of town in uyour private jet, call a surprise meeting, fire anyone who can't make it and keep the others in the room for 10 - 12 hours while berateing and cussing them out. Afterall you ARE from Chicago and that's the way the mob does it.

Totally hamstring your team and then ask what the problemn is. DO NOT let them convince you that YOU are the problem....

Make sure they KNOW how Important you are by always having to "Get back to them"

Get someone great on your team and do everything you can to keep him or her in their place becaue the only place for them to go is YOURS. Heck, just fire them and hire people dumber than you and then blame it on the poor work force.

1) Never be available to your employees ever. Work from home as much as possible, never answer email, ignore IMs for at least a few hours if you decide to respond at all, never be in your office and when you are in your office keep the door shut for all but 1 hr of the day. This will teach your employees to manage without you, but...

2) Insist on being the go or no vote holder, then hold up the process by engaging in #1...but...

3) Insist on having more control and responsibility while being aware that you are not handling your current areas.

4) Hire support staff, but do not train them. Throw them in gauntlet to figure it out for themselves. Pressure to perform even though you're not sure what to perform builds character, right? Avoid their questions by engaging in #1.

Great post, David.
Here are three more:
Call meetings 30 minutes before quitting time, keep the meeting semi-formal and drag it on for two hours, and them claim that it is not work related so no overtime pay for anyone.
When assigning work to employees give them very short deadlines and then complain that the resulting work is lacking details that requires much more time to complete.
Keep everybody working overtime everyday and give away comp times like candy. However never allow anyone to use the comp time because work schedule cannot allow it.

Does ANYONE understand what this person wrote?

"I really think those are great actions should be implemented by the managers, and frankly I personally experienced when a Department head acted in similar way as mentioned in the article, it appeared to me that the employees were more productive and efficient. However, I have to point out a crucial point: Managers should not get carried on using mean strategies; they have to act SMART, in away to bring the total welfare (for the employees and the manager himself/herself). This means that a tradeoff will be faced from both sides
The strategies mentioned here, it’s true they are tough and difficult to live with for employees, however, the real world facts, forces us to agree with them. And respect those managers who hold those CHARISMAS!

- Posted by N Jeshi
July 29, 2008 4:15 AM "

Otherwise, all the comments regarding bad boss habits were right on the money - government or civilian - I would add that the boss who doesn't rely on his/her management team's input, and totally alienates their worker bees, DESERVES their just reward (and thank goodness they were hired away to another firm - let that firm deal with them!).

Great post, Boss are same everywhere no difference...

My personal favourites

1. Exercise analysis paralysis on every project and cancel all of them at the last minute after weeks of work. Then at their performance review tell your employee that they haven't achieved anything
2. Write a final written warning to an employee, who has no people reporting to them, for not managing their reports effectively.
3. Advertise their position on the Intranet so that they find out from colleagues that you want to replace them

All so frighteningly accurate! It seems the Sewer Theory of promotion is alive and well (the biggest piece of crap floats to the top, in case you were wondering).

I'd like to add some:

1. tell each of your management team that you don't really trust the others, imply that they are the best one, then sit back and watch them all try and stuff eachother up to gain your approval. this way hopefully none of them will realise that you do not actually know anything or do anything...

2. In order to aid the effectiveness of #1, make sure that you berate your team for talking to each other and telling each other 'confidential information', even though they were both working on the same project.

3. Suck up to the Chairman of the Board, and then try and get the Board to give you more control, so that every report has to go through you and no-one else is allowed to tell the Board anything. Claim any calls for improved Governance procedures are a 'witch hunt' to try and stop you achieving.

(please don't use my name or email address - thx)

Add a few more.

1. Never read emails and don't open attachments, then email your employee and shout at them "YOU HAVEN'T RESPONDED TO THAT URGENT EMAIL I SENT YOU!"

2. Communicate with your direct reports' direct reports offering them projects that take them away from producing the results your direct reports are measured (and rewarded) on.

3. Judge your employees on process not outcomes.

4. Get involved in everything, but what you're supposed to be doing.

5. Take the credit for what your direct reports have done, then blame them if something goes wrong.

6. After coming back from a senior management meeting, say to your direct reports (who are also senior managers) "I can't share everything with you because it is confidential".

7. Ask your managers to cut back on paying incentives to their teams, but demand more revenue (which are tied to incentives). Ask yourself!

very funny post. You forgot "underpay people." That makes for happy employees who feel like they are valued.

There are some real gems in the posts - here are a few more...

"That may work for other institutions, but we are different"
Hire consultants for advice, pay them huge sums of money and then rationalize/defend your out-dated processes after they leave - but in reality we are not different, we choose to be...

"Management by concensus"
Don't make a decision without concensus from the board; that way it is not your fault if it does not work - it is everyone's fault...

"We just can't afford to give a cost of living raise again this year"
The CEO company car continues to be upgraded and the executive suite/dining room continues to be remodeled...

"Let me tell you a question"
Realize that you need input from your executives before making a decision for buy-in, but have your mind made up before calling the meeting; then defend your already decided upon position as ideas are shared during the meeting, then share your idea...

"We need circle the wagons"
Meaning that we need to discuss the all the negative possibilities of a problem and then walk away without making a decision - we roll the ball of yarn out, look at it, and then roll it back up...

Wow, this was a great post! I have to admit that I have had managers (bosses) that I have both enjoyed and dreaded working for. Unfortunately, the latter has been the majority.

What I truly don't understand is how they get away with their horrible "habits", and especially over long periods of time!!

I can't help but believe that part of the perceived problem may actually relate to that specific individual. Just as you may have "co-workers from hell" too, sometimes they're just NOT nice people.

Kudos to all of the comments as there were a lot of excellent additional points! I'll finish with two words that I live by: optimism and patience (it definitely takes both). :o)

Continued...

I neglected to mention one other important point. With the bad experiences so many of us have already had, it is the perfect opportunity to choose NOT to be that way while you are or when you become a manager. Try to make a difference, at least you know you're making the effort! I do!! :o)

How about--
1) Accept meeting requests for corporate report-outs, then don't show up. Follow up by firing the person who reports.
2) Always, always promote from outside the company. Preferably hire people who have no experience or technical education for the role. Be excited, really, really excited about how talented they are!
3) Use profiling (Myers Briggs, Gallup) to make all hiring and promotion decisions, regardless of people's experience and success. When hiring, these profiles are the gospel for guaranteed success. Once the person is hired, they are merely "indicators".

Ahahhahahahahaaaaaaaaa. I'm laughing my --- off!

You are always so busy, so give your international convention meeting notes to some employee prepared a power point to be present to Board Directors. And do it 30 minutes before meeting start

these are all so spot on, but I think we may have forgotten one...

How about sending a project thank you to all but the people who did the most work because after all you have a personality (or lack thereof) conflict with them and at the bottom put a follow up question that can only be answered by the people not thanked (So someone who wants to follow up has to forward to the excluded parties, thus letting them know all others were thanked.
This will create great motivation on the part of these employees!

Shucks ! n I thought it was only in my company....i've worked for 7yrs under 9 boss's and 25 indirect ( dotted line) reporting...n each point is something I can relate to !

Sad to see its the same everywhere !

I need feedback on how to deal with a team member who is poisoning my other team members. I manage this group but feel I am disconnected from this person. In the past, we have got along fine but this year has been bad and I am feeling like I need to give her a warning or things will get worse. Help!

Boss behave like big brother. He always urge us without any reasons, sometime for nothing. Boss who always think that he is always right. Look other worse than him , never give other the chance to do something freely. He is not expert but he reach into that field and when something goes wrong he blaim the subodinates.

Here are a couple more...

Delay a project or deliverable well past the deadline, and then hold the employees accountable when it's not delivered on time

Expect people to work hundreds of hours of unpaid overtime, but insist that they use vacation time for every single day out of the office. (in other words let employees GIVE discretionary time, but not TAKE it)

Treat senior people like children -- make sure they know their place, and are clear that it is below yours

Don't take counsel from your team

Gr8 post David.

Points 1,2,3,4,5(very very very tru),6(partially),9(partially),11(very tru) - very tru @ my current workplace

All very funny and painfully true. I would be interested to see some serious discussion on what drives this outlandish behavior, how to handle it, pitfalls. Endurance and a sense of humor are fine, but I'd like to know how to diffuse a situation, deflect some of the chaos, and raise it to the attention of senior management.

Additionally, if you are a senior manager, how do you create an environment where junior managers cannot get away with this? There is a great deal of opportunity for some extensive research here. Thanks!
Bala

David,

Great list. I'd add a few from my experiences:

1. Send subordinates a mile-long series of email communications and ask them to take care of it, without any explanation. They can take the time to figure it all out.

2. Don't put your name on anything. That way you can take credit if it turns out well, and assign blame to someone else.

3. Get defensive every time a subordinate questions a procedure or suggests something new.

4. If confronted by your boss with a request by a subordinate, agree to do anything, but then when out of your boss's hearing tell the subordinate it won't be done.

Hopefully some of my former (and current) bosses will recognize themselves.

The items on your list are bad, but they are amateur compared to a real nightmare boss. Read The No A**hole Rule by Robert Sutton if you want to see what true evil in a boss looks like.

in hotelerie managing..

1. Never show your true potentiel to a boss ..ask me why?

-is simple because you just sign your demition letter.

2. Don't ever try to impress your boss.. why?

- he goud take that as a arragance and dislike you.

3.And finaly always keep a low profile is better then hihg profil why ?

- to avoid being a target by your boss and co-workers higher profil and studies mean danger.

A few of her toxic boss'favorite things:

1. Confuse, obfuscate, cloud, blur or otherwise simply change his mind regarding his instructions from one review of a document draft to the next review of the revised document draft.

2. Leave out bits of information and yell at her that she is wasting his time, that she is just not cut out for this line of work and that she had better find something that she is able to do to make a living.

3. In heightened and angry caustic terms inform her (in-house counsel)that her pleadings are "crap" and that she doesn't know what she is doing, that he couldn't possibly let anything like this go out of the office, until outside counsel informs that he prepared the document - Now, with a minor change, it was "on the right track."

4. Send her out of state on a litigation assignment and withhold her paycheck for failure to provide desired results.

5. After she sufficiently grovels, issue her paycheck but deposit it 6 days late so that she has a bounced check (never mind that she is paying travel expenses out of her own pocket.)

6. Scream, yell, belittle, curse, and generally abuse her because he thinks she has no where to go - then tell her that this may be her last salary check.

7. Ignore her credentials, that she had been a Federal Administrative Judge with a long history in the legal profession of awards, acholades, and even a member of Mensa. All that means nothing.

The moral is Toxic bosses don't need a reason, they just are.

Dear Dave,

May all you've labour not be in vain (as always echoed in Nigerian National anthem).

Seriously speaking, you know we have leaders likewise bosses in our everyday endeaviours.

The bosses will not accept because of their antecedents that you must dance to their whimps and caprices while the other brings into the furore or "Awaken the giants in you" (by Anthony Robbins).

To add to your list:

1. A boss whose "Good Morning" is what about that job you are doing yesterday.
2. A boss whose surbordinate success is a potential threat to.
3. Surbonate's ideas will never hold water.

I made the mistake of trying to explain to my department's management team that them doing many of the actions listed above were reducing our entire office's trust and confidence in them, having a detrimental affect on productivity. I was a bit nieve, and it came back and bit me on the backside for the following year. Luckily I went for a sideways move to a really great boss, and I've subsequently been promoted twice.

I'd suggest that people have a look at Robert Sutton's book - The No A**hole Rule: Building a Civilised Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't.

Very Good Article and good observations.....

Infact I never observed those points, and infact many points are present in my previous and present bosses.

1.) When an employee sends a thoughtful explanation to you about something, send an abrupt email back with no punctuation. Don't sign the email, indicating you are too important for things like punctuation and signatures. e.g., "what is this"

3.) Decide to "come out" after upper management has put a right wing, no nonsense grey hair as your new boss. Leave the office early for your many new dates.

Ask your employees for projections about necessary resources, but don't provide them. In fact, don't even try.

When they come to you with the inevitable issues resulting from the shortfalls, don't pay any attention to the original estimate. Instead, look to some completely unrelated area, and point out that that team is doing just fine with the 'challenges we all face'.

If any of this produces chaos, inefficiency, needless stress, or anything else that could be construed as counterproductive and bad for the bottom line, state 'that's just the way it is', as though these were intrinsic qualities of he job itself, and not preventable problems with solutions that could lead to greater profitability.

Let them know that their aversion to waste and mayhem is evidence of 'not getting it', 'not being a team player', or 'failing to prioritize'.

In the event that they do manage to generate any productivity gains in spite of your total negligence, take full credit yourself, but note that they 'could have done more' in their 'supporting roles' if only they were 'more receptive to coaching'.

Use this as a reason for holding back on any raises. But let them know that they can always do better 'next quarter', and that you're 'paying close attention - along with everything else you do'.

If you inadvertently define some tangible benchmark, and the employee actually improves, move the goalposts. Then berate the employee for 'failing to stay appraised of fast moving developments'. Let them know that you expect them to do better 'in the coming quarter'. Also, let them know that you really enjoy 'coaching', and that if they need guidance, 'your door is always open'.

Make sure your door is never actually open.

This approach will swiftly drive away any competent individuals who could challenge your authority. You'll be left with insecure people desperate to please.

Once you've isolated the weak ones, share revealing details from your personal life with them. They don't have to be real. What matters is that the individual with whom you're sharing thinks you're confiding in them, and that you want them as a friend.

Then suggest that they're letting you down on a personal level if they chafe under any of the crap that's a part of your 'style'. Let them know that 'you'd hate to see them go' if they 'feel strongly', but make sure they know you'd 'respect their decision' and that it 'won't affect our friendship'.

Then come to them with some slight increase in responsibility. Position it as though 'this just came up', but say you're 'not sure if they can count on them, right now' and ask them 'were they stand'.

If they hedge, then ask for an estimate on / assessment of the assignment because you 'really respect their opinion'.

When they give it to you, say it 'looks great' and take something you know is a pain in the ass of their plate so they can 'focus'.

This will reel them back in 99% of the time. And that's all you need to do. Don't actually give them what they say they needed, however. Instead, refer to item one, wash, rinse and repeat.

If you manage to stage a long-running turf war with one or two other managers in the background, you can blame their general hostility for any shortcomings in your department.

Further hedge your bets by outsourcing as much work as you can to external vendors, while making sure that they have no other contact with folks at your company. Look for options with the competition, letting them know that you've got 'strong relations' with this vendor base, and that you can deliver them to a new employer 'at a great rate' if they hire you.

Also, look for opportunities to go to work for your company's clients - especially in roles where you'd be responsible for getting the 'best value' from your current company - or any others that provide a similar service.

Finally, never use email, unless you're confirming something that someone else already said.

THOUGH MOST OF THE ABOVE POINTS ARE TRUE THERE IS ONE I WOULD LIKE TO ADD:

"SHOUTING AT EMPLOYEES IN THE HALL AND SHOWING YOUR IMPORTANCE OR SHOUTING AT ONE PARTICULAR EMPLOYEE AND TRYING TO SHOW OTHERS THAT HE/SHE IS TOTALLY INCOMPETENT"

Hi David,
I like your list. I would like to add one more to it.

Ask for information on a non-urgent matter when you just had shutdown you computer and are ready to go home.

How amusing these lists are to review when not working for a difficult boss.

A couple of my favorites are

1. Whole heartedly agreeing to your idea directly, then, privately telling other staff members that it will not be effected ever.

2. Emails with the body of the message in the subject line

I worked as a SW Engineer in the field of what is called "high tech" and could not say that I had a bad boss, except for one. These were humungous corporations with multilayered management system. You never met your boss's boss. What I learned from my good bosses was priceless.
Do not micromanage your employees.
Treat them like co-workers.
Learn to trust the integrity of your “subordinates”.
Let them manage their projects without the traditional "Where were you since…" or "What have you been doing since..?"
"Is this what you produced in all this time?"
In an intellectually intensive work environment like creating software code to meet deadlines I learned to allow my employees time to think.
When they meet deadlines on time or before, I allow them slack time. This also applies to an R&D environment where having a quiet space to cogitate is an ideal goal.

My worst boss was one who did not understand my technology specialty, and who requested frequent tutorials from me.
I complied knowing that these times eroded my productivity.
What occurred later was his review of my work and his critque which lacked technical insight. Once I objected to the changes and that was the beginning of my downfall. My anger was self contained, but it ruined my health.

1) Reward your best employees by giving them more work. Afterall, you wouldn't want them to feel slighted by spreading it around to all of the people in the department.

2) Give good performance reviews (not enough for maximum rewards), while under-supporting your best employees careers advancement. In this was you can keep the employee happy yet hungry, while not letting the quality of your department's work suffer.

Don't forget to constantly tear down employees for not doing what you never told them had to be done...make them feel small and insecure whatever their level of experience or unique expertise may be...LDH, you can suck it...

Very commom comments of lousy bosses at the south east part of world:

1. I am challenging the current situation because this is against my norms.

2. I'll join your meeting.. sorry fell asleep halfway through it, kind of late for my schedule. Your audience needs to be more participative.

3. Sorry my questioning prolonged this meeting, just needed to verify if I got all information correctly (meeting set at 1 hour, extended up to 2 hours, happens regularly).

4. This has to be done because my boss said so.

5. Can you come up with the summary, I'll just copy paste for my report to my boss.

6. This is how I do it in the past therefore there's no other way to do it but this way.

7. Tell them to do this effective immediately, because I said so!

Try invoting half the team members to a glamorous social function (as my husband's previous boss did) and then telling the other team members (after the event) that you thought they were too busy and so didn't ask them.

Or try walking round the office and calling all your employees by their surname and criticising them infront of everyone else (as a former boss of mine did before being sacked).

Hi David,

what a great list - outrageous! I admit, prior to working with my current boss, I never thought these things possible and rather doubted the employee than the boss. It remains a miracle for me how people like this can become Highest Management level. To add from my current one (and hopefully soon ex-boss) who is 1st Management Level in a Major Bank:
1. He micromanages! He controls every detail, completely unstructured and erratic. Doesn't give his direct reports any room to maneuver.
2. He doesn't take any decisions or responsibility. Despite looking into every detail, when it comes to give a direction he always forwards to somebody else. Since then so many things remain in the mist, he plays back to escalate via him, though then he doesn't follow up and blames others for having things unsolved.
3. He can't say a positive thing about his employees and NEVER direct, constructive critique. In front of me he says bad staff about others, in bilateral talks with others about others... and so on.
4. He doesn't appreciate performance. If for once, despite all odds, you manage to get a solution, be sure to receive a downgrading comment and smile "ah, a bit too exaggerated', "ah yes... do we need that"...
5. He has no sense for his employees. We work abroad in Asia for a German bank and are all delegates. Last year my father got diagnosed cancer and I told him, with the proposal to arrange more regularly (every 6-8 weeks) meetings in Head Office (which are actually most sensible and evident) to be able to cope with the situation. His reaction " Oh no. Now I have to hedge myself, since you are mentally distracted and I cannot count on you anymore". Believe it or not, I was not allowed to travel to Germany, unless I took a holiday, which of course had to fit to the workload in Office. Ever since he has never asked how my father was going... (who is by now luckily recovered).

... I am currently within to hopefully be transferred back...The crisis on top wasn't so helpful to switch jobs, as this one is obvious to not work out.

I worked for a major company for a short time, under a district sales manager that had a very short fuse. This fellow would go off on a profanity laced tirade with the least amount of provacation. I quit after a tirade that was directed to a nice lady that I worked with. I thought her question was legitimate, however he did not. In front of approximately 100 fellow workers he did a ten minute profanity laced rant against this poor woman.
This fellow also loved to micro-manage to the Nth degree. Daily sales reports had to be submitted in detail, in front of the local sales manager. Weekly sales meetings that would last two to three hours, about nothing.