After any crisis -- like the economic crisis we now experiencing -- there is a lot of finger-pointing. Any tips on how to help my team avoid finger-pointing when we face a crisis?

You are making a great point. I have seen massive amounts of finger pointing on TV and on the internet this week. 

Concerning our economic crisis - I have seen 'experts' blame the President, the Congress, Democrats, Republicans, Socialists, the free enterprise system, bankers, consumers, economists, regulators, deregulators, 'rich people' and even other competing 'experts.'
Strangely enough, I have seen very few people pointing the finger of responsibility at themselves!

It was be so refreshing to hear at least one person say, "One of the main reasons that our country is in trouble, is because people like me screwed up. I was really wrong on this one."

My suggestions to help your team avoid finger-pointing in a time of crisis:

1. Encourage everyone on your team to remember four words that can help all of you get though your crisis in the best way possible: help more, judge less. Reflect upon these four words. Aside from work, how many of us have friends and family members at home who might be happy if we 'helped' a little more - and 'judged' a little less?

2. Try to get team members to focus on a future that they can impact, not a past that they cannot change anyway. Have you ever made a fool of yourself in front of important people before? It was bad enough when it happened. Having others make you relive this 'fool making' experience is usually not that helpful.

3. Try to get people to take responsibility for their own behavior. Sometimes it is easier to see our own mistakes in other people than in the mirror. We may not be able to change what other people have done, but we can certainly change ourselves.

4. Ask each person to reflect on the question, "What can I learn from this crisis?" Anyone can provide leadership when times are easy. Great leaders - and great teams - step up when times are tough. Rather than get lost in whining, have each team member focus on how he or she can grow from this experience. 

5. Ask everyone on your team to reflect on the question, "What can we learn from this crisis?" After each person's individual reflection, encourage your team to engage in collection reflection. Find ways to improve cross-team communication and build teamwork.

6. Encourage each team member to avoid speaking when angry or out of control. We all get angry. That is natural and completely appropriate. We just don't have to talk until we settle down and can collect our thoughts. Plenty of research has shown how our 'angry mind' can lead to irrational behavior that we later regret.

7. Before speaking don't just ask, "Am I correct?" - ask "Will this help?"Just because we believe that something is true, we don't have to say it. If our comment may be hurtful to individuals or destructive to teamwork, it can sometimes just be left unsaid. 

Readers - I would love to hear your thoughts and reflections on the finger pointing that has accompanied our present economic crisis. Any ideas on how to avoid finger pointing would also be appreciated.

As a coach, you are asked to give others advice - what is the best coaching advice that you have ever received?

Like many young Ph.D. students, I was deeply impressed with my own intelligence, wisdom and profound insights into the human condition. I consistently amazed myself with my ability to judge others and see what they were doing wrong.

UCLA Professor Fred Case was my advisor and head of the Los Angeles City Planning Commission - where I was doing my dissertation research. At this point in my career, he was clearly the most important person in my professional life. He was also a man that I sincerely respected. He had done an amazing amount to help the city become a better place. He was also doing a lot to help me.

Although he was normally in a very upbeat mood, one day Dr. Case seemed annoyed. He looked at me and growled, "Marshall, what is the problem with you? I am getting feedback from some people at City Hall that you are coming across as negative, angry and judgmental. What's going on?"

"You can't believe how inefficient the city government is!" I ranted. I immediately proceeded to give several examples of how taxpayer's money was not being used in the way that I thought it should be. I was convinced that the city could be a much better place if the leaders just listened to me.

"What a stunning breakthrough!" Dr. Case sarcastically remarked, "You, Marshall Goldsmith, have discovered that our city government is inefficient! I hate to tell you this Marshall, but my barber who is cutting hair down on the corner figured this out several years ago. What else is bothering you?"

Undeterred by this temporary setback, I angrily proceeded to point out several minor examples of behavior that could be classified as favoritism toward rich political benefactors.

Dr. Case was now laughing. "Stunning breakthrough number two!" he chuckled. "Your profound investigative skills have led to the discovery that politicians may give a more attention to their major campaign contributors than to people who support their opponents. I am sorry to report that my barber has also known this for years. I am afraid that we can't give you a Ph.D. for this level of insight."

As he looked at me, his face showed the wisdom that can only come from years of experience. He said, "I know that you think that I may be old and 'behind the times', but I have been working down there at City Hall for years. Did it ever dawn on you that even though I may be slow, perhaps even I have figured some of this stuff out?"

Then he delivered the advice I will never forget. "Marshall," he explained, "you are becoming a 'pain in the butt'. You are not helping the people who are supposed to be your clients. You are not helping me and you are not helping yourself. I am going to give you two options:

"Option A - Continue to be angry, negative and judgmental. If you chose this option, you will be fired, you probably will never graduate and you may have wasted the last four years of your life.

"Option B - Start having some fun. Keep trying to make a constructive difference, but do it in a way that is positive for you and the people around you.

"My advice is this: You are young. Life is short. Start having fun.

"What option are you going to choose, son?"

I finally laughed and replied, "Dr. Case, I think it is time for me to start having some fun!"

He smiled knowingly and said, "You are a wise young man."

Most of my life is spent working with leaders in huge organizations. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that things are not always as efficient as they could be - almost every employee has made this breakthrough discovery. It also doesn't take a genius to learn that occasionally people are more interested in their own advancement than the welfare of the company. Many employees have already figured out this one as well.

Real leaders are not people who can point out what is wrong. Almost anyone can do that. Real leaders are people who can make things better.

Dr. Case taught me a great lesson. His coaching didn't just help me get a Ph.D. and become a better consultant. He helped me have a better life.

Think about your own behavior at work. Are you communicating a sense of joy and enthusiasm to the people around you - or are you spending too much time in the role of angry, judgmental critic?

Do you have any co-workers who are acting like I did? Are you just getting annoyed or are you trying to help them - in same way that Dr. Case helped me? If you haven't been trying to help them, why not give it a try. Perhaps they will write a story about you someday!

Readers - Please send in comments on Dr. Case's advice - or the best coaching advice that you have ever received.

Many organizations are in such a state of crisis today that it can be very overwhelming. Do you think there's a purpose or a lesson in what we're experiencing?

My friend, Dr. Ian I. Mitroff, noted author and professor, has an intriguing perspective that may provide an answer to this question that the rest of us had not considered. He works on both organizational purpose and spirituality. I asked Ian if he'd answer this question. Here's his response:

"There are two challenges facing all organizations today. They are Crisis Management and Spirituality. While seemingly unrelated, they are opposite sides of the same complex coin.

Briefly, the challenge of Crisis Management is to overcome apathy, smugness, and denial. The challenge of Spirituality is to overcome the false perception that it is off-limits and doesn't apply to most organizations.

For about 25 years, my colleagues and I have been studying the Crisis Management behavior of all kinds of organizations. I wish I could say that during this time they have made significant progress, but I can't. Many have made substantial improvements in their Business Continuity plans, procedures, and preparations. However, Business Continuity is not the same as Crisis Management.

Business Continuity is great for backing up workplaces, plants, computers, machinery, and operations, but it does not prepare for workplace violence, disgruntled employees, and ethical breaches by middle and top management. But Business Continuity does not take into account that no single crisis that we have ever studied is an isolated crisis.

Every crisis is simultaneously an ethical, PR, legal, communications, and/or operations crisis. Unless one plans and thinks systemically and 'connects the dots,' then one is not prepared for any major crisis.

Given the severity and the frequency of major crises, what keeps us from preparing better? Denial! Far too many organizations have the attitude that it can't and won't happen to them. It will.

Research shows that better prepared organizations experience significantly fewer crises and are significantly more profitable. The moral: Crisis Management is not only the right thing to do, it is good for business.

How about Spirituality? How does it fare? Sadly, not much better.

First of all, Spirituality in the workplace is not about religion. It is not about forcing everyone to adopt the same belief system. It is about recognizing that when people come to work, they do not leave their "spiritual sides" at home. While the "whole person walks in the door everyday," people are often forced to fragment themselves into a thousand disconnected pieces.

People are searching for meaning and purpose in their lives, and they want to find it where they spend most of their time, i.e. at work. They want to work for a good organization that is ethical and treats them with respect.

Research shows that those organizations that have learned how to address the spiritual needs of their employees and all stakeholders are more profitable and productive. But just as important, they are happier places in which to work.

How are these two challenges related?

Every crisis is a spiritual crisis. Every crisis raises deep questions about the goodness of the organization and the people in it. It challenges our deeply held assumptions about the purpose of the organization and our places within it. For instance, is the crisis our fault in any way? Did we bring it upon ourselves? Would it have happened if we had tried harder and had better programs?

There is little doubt that these are challenging times. There is no doubt that we face crises that are unparalleled. Nonetheless, I believe that if we can use these times to develop organizations that serve the "greater needs" of all those connected with them, then we will not only survive but become better. If we do not, we will continue to stagger from crisis to crisis."

Thank you, Ian.

Readers - your thoughts and ideas on either dealing with a crisis or spirituality at work are appreciated.

What prevents us from making the changes we know will make us more effective leaders?

Great question. I may be the only executive educator who actually measures whether the participants in my leadership development courses actually do what I teach--and then measures if they are seen as becoming more effective leaders.

At the end of my sessions, I ask leaders (who have received 360-degree feedback) to follow up with their co-workers and ask for ongoing ideas about how they can continue to become more effective. A year later, about 70% do some version of this recommended follow-up (as reported by their co-workers, not by them); 30% do absolutely nothing.

I am not ashamed of these numbers. I am happy: not only are 70% of those who do their follow-up seen as becoming better leaders, the 30% who do absolutely nothing don't get any worse!

But to your question, what prevents the 30% from making the changes they know will make them more effective leaders?

Dropping the Ball

I had the chance to interview many of the 'do-nothings' with one of my clients a year later to ascertain why they had dropped the ball on their follow-up commitment.

Their answers had nothing to do with integrity, ethics, or values. The 'do-nothings' were good people with good values. They were intelligent people who felt bad about not following up with their co-workers.

If it wasn't lack of intelligence or values, why did 30% of the participants in my courses leave with the idea that they were going to put what they were taught into practice--and then let an entire year pass with no visible effort?

Excuses, Excuses

The answer has to do with a daydream. I have indulged in this daydream for years. In fact, you too may have had this same recurring daydream.

This daydream explains why the participants in my courses don't end up doing what they know they should. It also probably explains why you don't do many things in your life and career that you know you should.

The daydream goes like this:

"I am incredibly busy right now. In fact, I feel as busy as I have ever felt in my life. Sometimes my life feels a little out of control. But I am dealing with some very unique and special challenges right now. I think the worst of this will be over in a few months. Then I am going to take a couple of weeks to get organized, spend some time with my family, start my 'healthy life' program, and work on personal development."

One Tough Question

Have you ever had a daydream that vaguely resembles this dream? How long have you been having this same, repetitive dream? Most leaders I meet have been having it for years.

I have learned a hard lesson trying to help real people change real behavior in the real world. The 'couple of weeks' that you are fantasizing about are not going to happen. Look at the trend line. There is a good chance that tomorrow is going to be even crazier than today!

If you want to make real change, ask yourself this tough question: What am I willing to change now? Not 'in a few months.' Not 'when I get caught up.' Now.

Now, take a deep breath. Forget your glorious plans. Accept the craziness of your life. Do what you can do now. Let go of everything else. And make peace with what is.

List the 'personal improvement' activities that you have been 'planning' to do - but have not quite 'got around to' yet.

Challenge yourself on each activity.

Get started on the activity within two weeks - or take it off the list - and quit tormenting yourself.

Readers - Please send in comments on behaviors you've changed (70% of you) or your favorite "daydream" (the other 30%). Please send any ideas for helping others to quit "dreaming."

Do you have any specific suggestions for marketing executives in this challenging climate?

Great question. During hard times companies often cut back on marketing budgets. As business becomes more competitive, marketing executives face increasing pressure to demonstrate the value that their function is adding to the firm.

For an insider's perspective, I've asked Susanne Lyons, former CMO at Visa and Charles Schwab, to answer your question. Here are her ideas and reflections:

Chief Marketing Officers (CMOs) are usually under pressure because most organizations see marketing as a cost center and are not aware of how it is contributing to the bottom line. This can lead to a crisis of credibility and a loss of power for the marketer. CMOs have a very high turnover rate. Here are a few suggestions that may help CMOs gain credibility and make a positive difference for their firms:

1. Have a thorough understanding of how the business runs. Many marketers are creative or have deep functional expertise but lack general business training. Set aside time to learn the ins and outs of your businesses - for example: revenue drivers, influences on profitability, corporate vision, and budget. To earn credibility, you not only need to keep track of your own budget, but also understand exactly what the marketing function is doing to drive bottom-line results.

2. Speak the same language as other executives. Chances are your peers talk in terms of revenue, cash flow, and profitability - they don't have an ear for the soft language marketers grew up with like "brand awareness." Listen to how your peers are talking and adopt their lingo. Think of how you can explain your activities and results using terms that resonate with them.

3. Align yourself with the rest of your executive team. Driving revenue hinges on alignment of marketing with sales and other functions. For example, you don't want the CEO and CFO coming to you and saying, "You never justify why we're spending so much money, so we're cutting your budget." Having meetings to discuss methodology and the types of metrics the other executives are looking for, such as what the VP of Sales thinks of as a "qualified lead," will align your role with theirs.

4. Find the right reporting tools. Arm yourself with tools that let you say: "here's the proof that we really helped drive these results." These tools generate hard numbers such as how many leads were brought in and how many of those leads converted, and you need them in order to demonstrate a firmer business case.

5. Measure your way to a seat at the table. The only way to prove your impact is to make measurement your mantra. Whether it's measuring response to offers, Web site click-throughs, or lead quality, those measurements will justify how you spend your money and prove that you deserve a seat at the executive table.

Thank you, Susanne. Readers - any specific suggestions that you may have for marketing executives will be appreciated. Please send in comments with your ideas.

See the Complete Downturn Survival Guide

After announcing his retirement, Brett Favre was asked, "What are some things that you are looking forward to doing?"

"Nothing," he replied. "And I am going to stick to that until I do something else."

This was an extremely bad sign of the potential for Mr. Favre having a successful retirement.

In my job as an executive coach, I have spent a lot of time with leaders who are dealing with retirement. While some make the transition pretty well, for many it is a disaster. I am a little surprised that Brett lasted as long as he did.

The fact is, after being a huge success in a career that has brought benefits like leadership, relationships, contribution, meaning and happiness, playing mediocre golf with a bunch of old men at the country club isn't really that great. Eating the same chicken salad sandwich, at the same table, and talking with a bunch of retired folks about the person you "used to be" gets old very fast. And after the third cruise, most former leaders are ready to kill the entertainment director.

Many executives who 'retire' immediately proceed to drive their spouses crazy. After a month or so, Brett's wife was probably thrilled at the idea of his going back to football.

One retired military leader reported that - after three months of retirement - he was alphabetizing the cans in the kitchen. When he asked his wife if 'baked beans' should be placed under 'BA' for 'baked' or 'BE' for beans, she screamed, "Get out!"

One former corporate executive is now conducting performance appraisals every month - with his gardeners and house staff. As he 'rank orders' their performance, I am sure that their eyes roll as they think, "Get a life."

A CEO friend of my family's sold his business for millions of dollars. He was about Mr. Favre's age. When I expressed grave doubts about his ability to successfully retire, he scoffed and assured me that he was different than the other leaders I had worked with. Within a few months, his wife had gotten a job selling dresses. (Hint, hint.) His kids were away at college. (Uh oh.) He was sitting at home watching sitcoms when the delivery guy came over. They had a very interesting chat. It was so interesting that he smiled and thought, "That was great! In fact, talking with the delivery guy was the highlight of my week!"

Then he looked into the mirror and realized, "Oh my God! The highlight of my week was talking to the delivery guy!"

He started looking for another job the next day.

If you have ever watched Brett Favre play, you know that he loves football. For him, football provides meaning. It makes him happy.

I watched him on TV this week at practice. He was smiling. No, he was beaming.

When he "retired," he was crying.

Beaming is better than crying.

My advice for Brett Favre is - go for it.

Will he eventually fail? Of course. Might he eventually look old and pathetic? Sure. Who cares? It is his life. It is his decision. If he can do something that provides meaning and happiness for another year or so - or even another month or so - why not?

He is no longer looking forward to "nothing." He is now looking forward to "something" - every practice, and especially, every Sunday.

Readers - Please send your comments and experiences with successful people (in any field) who have retired. What worked? What did not work? Who went back to work? Your thoughts are always appreciated.

Your situation is, unfortunately, very common this year.  I work for one financial institution where over 90% of the units had great years - yet two units lost more money than the combined profits of all of the other units.  Board-dictated, corporate-wide cutbacks required many of their leaders to face exactly what you are facing.

It's one of the toughest challenges that any leader will face - having to terminate employees who are doing a great job.

I definitely don't have any easy answers, but  I hope that my suggestions can help you make the best out of this tough situation.

• Tell the truth. The employees who are being terminated may argue with you that "this isn't fair."  They are right.  Recognize that life is not always fair and that the "good guys" don't always win.  Don't try to prove they are wrong - and get into a counter-productive argument.  Sometimes we are punished because of external events that are outside of our control.
• Be prepared for their anger. Even though their dismissal may not be your fault, you are still the visible representative of the company.  They may verbally attack you.  Don't take it personally.  Realize that this is a normal human reaction to pain.  Take the high road.  Forgive them for any personal negative comments about you.  (I didn't say these suggestions were easy!)
• Don't sell out the company or your fellow co-workers. Even though the leaders of the company may have made some mistakes, they are still your co-workers.  When we are attacked, it is very easy to deflect the anger to someone else.  Try not to do this.  Someday you may be the person who makes a mistake.  How would you like your co-workers to speak about you?  Use this as a guideline in discussing your co-workers with the person who is being terminated.
• Help them any way that you can. As Billie Holliday so wisely noted, "Money, you got lots of friends/crowding 'round your door. /When it's gone, spending ends/they don't come around no more."  Everyone is nice to people who are winning.  But people seem to forget our names when we are not doing well.  My good friend, Don Sherrit, taught me years ago to always go out of your way to be nice to people when times are tough.  You never know, that person you are terminating today may end up becoming your customer, partner or even boss.  Times change.  People remember the way they were treated when they were hurt.  Aside from the good business logic, this just shows that you have class as a human being.
• Keep in contact with them after they leave. Try to help them with networking.  Call them on the phone.  Send an email. If they don't want to hear from you, they will let you know.  If they appreciate the fact that you are reaching out to them, do it; if not, just let it go.

I am not naïve - I know that none of these suggestions will make your discussion a pleasant experience.  But I hope that these ideas help you manage a thorny situation in the best way you can.

Readers - I would love to hear your answers to this tough question.  Have you ever been though this?  What did you learn?

Here are my suggestions for you, which (I hope) work:

• My teacher and mentor Paul Hersey always taught me that “leadership is not a popularity contest.” You, as a leader, have to be focused on achieving the mission. Sometimes this means disagreeing with your direct reports and taking a stand on tough issues.

• On the other hand, my friend and colleague, Jim Kouzes, points out that “leadership is not an unpopularity contest.” Great leaders focus on building positive, lasting relationships with the people they lead – and should be sensitive to how they are perceived by direct reports.

• Begin with a philosophy of doing what is right while at the same time involving and empowering great people.

• Ask yourself a simple question, “Is winning this battle worth it?” If you believe that this is an important issue for the company – stand your ground. If it is important to your direct reports and insignificant to the company, let it go.

• Try not to prove that your direct reports are wrong. Chances are that your direct reports are generally bright and interested in what they are doing – especially the ones that take the initiative to make suggestions. The fact that your ideas differ from their ideas does not always mean that they are wrong. As difficult as it may be to believe, sometimes you are wrong.

• Listen and think before responding. Sometimes if you just back away and reflect, you will see things from a different and clearer perspective.

• If you can execute components of their ideas, do it. Your direct reports do not expect you to do everything that they suggest.

• If you finally just disagree, respectfully let them know that you have listened to their ideas, thought carefully about them and chosen not to execute their ideas at this time. Explain your logic. Let them know that you are not saying that they are wrong and point out that well-meaning, intelligent people can disagree.

• Don't win them all. Be open to going with their ideas when you can. When they disagree with you – and they prevail – support their ideas, just as you want them to support your ideas when you get your way.

I hope that these ideas are helpful.

Readers, please send in your reflections on how to react to direct reports’ suggestions when you disagree with their ideas.

When does leadership coaching work? When is it a waste of time?

The huge majority of professionals who call themselves executive coaches are actually behavioral coaches. Although some are experts at strategy (e.g. CK Prahalad or Vijay Govindarajan), most – including me - are not.

When will coaching aimed at changing leadership behavior be most effective? If the clients’ issues are behavioral, they are willing to try and they are given a fair chance. Although these three factors may seem simple on the surface, getting a real assessment of each can be tricky.

1. Are the clients’ issues behavioral?

Executive coaching has become very popular in the past few years. In fact, it has become so popular that I sometimes get ridiculous requests for coaching. One pharmaceutical company called and asked me to coach "Dr. X." I asked, “What is his problem?” They replied, “He is not updated on recent medical technology.” I laughed and said, “Neither am I.” Behavioral coaching will only help behavioral issues. It won’t turn bad doctors into good doctors or bad engineers into good engineers. Coaching is not a catch all that solves all problems.

Second, when leaders commit an ethical violation they should be fired – not coached. It only takes one ethical violation to ruin the reputation of an otherwise outstanding company. All employees need to understand that integrity is a condition of employment not a performance appraisal factor.

Third, if a leader is headed in the wrong direction, behavioral coaching will only help them get there faster. The strategy of the company is ultimately determined by its top executives. Behavioral coaches cannot turn bad strategies into good one. Connected to the strategy are the products and services offered by the company. No amount of coaching can salvage products and services that do not meet the needs of customers.

2. Are the clients willing to try to change?

Advice that is never implemented will not do much good. If clients are willing to do the work needed to achieve positive, lasting change – they can definitely improve. If not, coaching is a waste of time. As an example, when my last book was the number one selling business book in the US the number one selling diet book sold ten times as many copies. If reading diet books would make you thin, Americans would be the thinnest people in the history of the world. You do not get better because you read a self-help book or hire a coach. You will only achieve positive, lasting change in behavior when you do the work required to make this happen.

3. Are the clients going to be given a fair chance?

In some cases the top executives of large companies lack the courage to give mangers honest, negative feedback. In these cases what is called executive coaching is actually a seek and destroy process – that is used to document failure, under the guise of “We did everything we could to help this person! We even hired an executive coach.”

In other cases executives may want the person to succeed, but peers may sabotage the chances of coaching making a positive difference. Like higher executives, peers can write off their colleagues and create an environment where nothing they do to change will be given any credibility.

In summary, leadership coaching can be a very valuable process when the clients issues are behavioral, they are motivated to change and when they are given a fair chance. Both coaches and organizations need to look beneath the surface and make sure that these conditions really exist – before even beginning the coaching process.

Many otherwise objective leaders seem to have real difficulty in evaluating their potential successors. From your experience, why does this happen? Can it be avoided?

When evaluating our potential successors, we should first look at ourselves. Following are three classic mistakes leaders make when reviewing potential successors. All three can cloud our objectivity and diminish our ability to evaluate successors.

1. Why doesn’t she act like me? As a rule successful human beings tend to “over-weight” our own strengths and “under-weight” our own weaknesses when evaluating others. The more successful we become, the more we can fall into the “superstition trap”, which, simple stated, is, “I behave this way. I am a successful leader. Therefore, I must be a successful leader because I behave this way.”

All successful leaders are successful because of many positive qualities and in spite of some behavior that needs improvement.

As a leader, take a hard look at your own strengths and challenges. Realize that you will have a natural tendency to forgive even large errors that resemble your weaknesses and to punish even small flaws that occur in your area of strength.

After making a list of your strengths and challenges, list the strengths and challenges of your potential successor. As hard as it may be, try to think like an objective outsider. Challenge yourself to recognize that the behavior that you feel is most important for the company may really be the behavior that is most important for you.

2. What doesn’t he think like me? It is hard for successful leaders not to believe that their strategic thinking is the right strategic thinking. As you proceed in the succession process, you are going to have to let go. It can be very hard to watch your successor make decisions that are different than yours. It is especially tough since, as long as you are still the leader, you have the power to reverse the decisions.

Your successor is going to manage your organization in the future – not you. As hard as it may be, you have to let him or her begin to make a bigger and bigger difference in developing strategy.

As long as the organization will be headed in a positive general direction – and achieving results – try to recognize that your successor’s different path may actually turn out to be a better path.

3. Why doesn’t she respect and appreciate my friends? We all tend to over-value input from people that we personally like and respect and under-value people that we don’t love as much. Face the fact that your successor may have different personal preferences than you. Your trusted advisors may not be hers.

Invariably when transition occurs, some of your friends may lose status or power and may end up leaving the company. This can be tough -- both for them and for you.

Respect your successor enough to let her choose her own key advisers.

Readers – Please send in any observations on why leaders have trouble objectively evaluating successors and suggestions on how they can do a great job in succession planning.

In my work, I spend a lot of time on the road. In the past four weeks, I have made separate trips to Abu Dhabi, Zurich, and London – along with many stops in the U.S. On American Airlines alone I have logged over 9.5 million frequent flyer miles.
Lots of people have asked me, “How do you do it?”

Here are some of my suggestions:

• Pack light. (This is easier for me than most humans, since I wear a green Polo shirt and Khaki pants almost every day.) Take what you need. Don’t give yourself options. Make a decision on what you are going to wear – and just wear that. Use the hotel laundry. If you are staying for more than one day, they can clean your clothes. You probably won’t have to have a unique outfit every day.

• Don’t book the last flight. Things happen. Whenever you can, give yourself a back-up option.

• Get to the airport with time to spare. Given today’s security precautions, last minute arrivals can be a disaster. I have seen many late passengers trying to jump ahead of everyone in line – and get angry with the security people for doing their jobs. Life is short. Don’t do this to yourself and other people at the airport.

• If at all possible, don’t check your bags. If I checked my bags on every trip, hundreds of hours of my life would be spent standing by conveyor belts. This doesn’t even factor in the extreme hassle and aggravation that comes when your bags are lost or misplaced.

• Eat before you get on the plane. I have heard hundreds of passengers sitting next to me grumble about how bad airplane food is. You don’t have to eat it. While some components of air travel have gotten worse, others have improved. The quality of food and quantity of options at major airports is exponentially better today than it was thirty years ago – when I started flying. If you don’t have a chance to eat before you leave for the airport, you can still eat before you get on the plane.

• Don’t drink alcohol on the plane. The only time that I ever drink when flying is when I have two glasses of wine before an overnight flight. If you are not going to sleep immediately, drinking does more harm than good.

• Learn to sleep on the plane. I have a unique approach, which works for me. I put on a blind-fold, put the blanket over my head – then go to sleep. I often speak in front of large groups. I have to think about my voice. Having the blanket over my head holds in my body moisture and helps prevent the dry throat problem that occurs when we sleep on a long flight. Another benefit – when you have a blanket over your head – no one talks to you.

• To help conquer jet lag, forget about where you have been – and be where you are. As soon as you board the plane, set you watch to the time zone where you are headed. Never say, “Do you realize what time it is where I began this journey?” This type of thinking just screws up your mind and makes things worse. If you are in Bangalore and it is 10pm, say to yourself, “I am in Bangalore and it is 10pm.”

As much as we complain about the air transportation, I am amazed at how well the system works. In my thirty years of being a “road warrior”, I have only missed on client meeting because of travel issues (a blizzard in Chicago).

Readers – please share your ideas on ways to make travel as positive as possible.

My bank has lost billions of dollars because of bad investments – which I didn’t make. Now I am facing budget cutbacks, getting no bonus, reducing my staff, and being expected to contribute more. This really makes me angry! Any suggestions?

If it is true that “misery loves company,” you have a lot of company. In my work in the financial services world this year, I hear your frustration – and your question – over and over again.

In one bank that I know well almost every part of the business had a great year – except the division that lost billions of dollars and negated all of the other divisions’ success. This made life very tough for the employees in the successful divisions.

One of the most common characteristics of successful people is that we have a very strong “internal locus of control.” In other words, we believe that our success in life is a function of the motivation and ability that we bring to the world. Less successful people tend to see success as a function of external factors – or the environment.
Normally this belief in our control over our own destiny works in our favor. It makes us motivated and encourages us to build our skills. It helps us take responsibility. (It also keeps us from wasting money on lottery tickets!)

When negative environmental factors impact our success, our strong internal locus of control makes it hard for us to accept the reality of the external environment. We begin to get angry because “It isn’t fair,” and we ask questions like, “Why am I being punished – for their mistakes?”

I cannot help your company get back the billions of dollars it just lost. I cannot help you get a bonus or save your valued staff members. I will try to help you make the best of the situation that you face. My suggestions are:

• If you choose to stay with the company, realize that we all make mistakes. The individuals who made bad decisions – or their bosses – are just humans. They aren’t Gods. Historically, these people have made some very good bets. Recently they made some very bad bets. You don’t have to love them, but just accept them for being who they are. Carrying around anger directed toward your fellow employees does not help you, your company or the people who work with you.

• Forgive yourself. You are an adult. You chose to work with this company. In a way, you made a bet. Sometimes our choices don’t work out as we had planned. This does not make you a bad person – just a human being. At a deeper level, the person you are really mad at may be yourself. Don’t be personally ashamed because your company has lost money. While you can own your own performance, you can’t own the performance of people that you do not control.

• Reassess the situation. One of greatest challenges for investors is to learn the meaning of “sunk cost.” What’s done is done. Let it go. Objectively reconsider your situation. Given the world that exists today, do you want to stay? If so, make the best of where you are. Do you want to leave? If so, begin searching for another job.

• Remember your deeper mission in life. Behave in a way that optimizes benefit for yourself and the people that you love. Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face by letting your anger override your logic. I have seen many otherwise smart people make stupid decisions when they were angry. Don’t let this happen to you.

I hope that these suggestions are helpful.

I love hearing from our readers. Please send in comments with your suggestions for how good professionals can make the best of today’s tough conditions.

In many ways leaders need to learn how to act. What can leaders learn from actors?

My friend Cindy Ventrice is doing some fascinating work in using improv techniques to help leaders do a better job in providing recognition to their employees. I love how her work directly connects to what I teach so I’ve asked her to answer this question:

The acting technique that I found has the most potential for leadership development is improvisational theater. I have used improv to help leaders learn to:

• Listen more respectfully
• Pick up on subtle cues
• Demonstrate trust
• Value opinions

The power of improv comes from the instant feedback that the games provide. You can quickly see what habits you need to break, have the opportunity to practice new skills while receiving continuous reinforcement, and have fun at the same time.

To demonstrate how improv builds leadership skills let’s look at a few principles of improv:

Say “Yes, And”
Leaders often need help breaking the “no, but” habit. A basic principle of improv is to accept all offers. There are a number of improv games that teach this principle and in the process demonstrate that people are more energized and engaged by leaders that say “Yes, and.”

Make Each Other Look Good
Great improvisers can bring an audience member on stage and have that person leave the stage feeling like a brilliant improviser. That is the “make each other look good” principle in action. Improv is a true collaborative activity. Success isn’t measured by how brilliant you look, but how well you support the efforts of others. You don’t have to worry about your success: the rest of the group is doing that for you!

Take A Back Seat
Many beginning improvisers try to control the scene. They are referred to as “drivers.” They are adding too much value and not leaving enough room for others. They aren’t trusting that others can make them look good. Great improv, like great leadership, requires the willingness to take a back seat and let others drive.

These are just a few examples of the improv/recognition connection. The lessons that improv teaches introduce and reinforce many of the behaviors that make great leaders.

Cindy Ventrice is the author of Make Their Day! Employee Recognition That Works. You can visit her website at www.maketheirday.com.

In your experience, what are the biggest regrets people have at the end of their careers? What do people wish they had learned sooner?

This is a great question. A wise person learns from experience. A wiser person learns from someone else’s experience. The best way to answer this question is to ask the people who actually have the experience.

My friend John Izzo is the author of a great new book-The Five Secrets You Must Discover before You Die. The book is based on 250 interviews he conducted with people from age 59-106 asking them to reflect back on their lives and careers. Though the people he interviewed ranged from a town barber to successful CEOs, the themes that emerged were clear. Here is some of what he learned about regrets and the things we wished we had learned sooner.

The first thing he learned is that people don’t regret their failures and that most people wished they had risked more. Most of us go through our careers fearing failure, but Izzo discovered that trying and failing is something we can deal with. The happiest people felt they had pursued their dreams and stretched themselves in their lives and careers. So we are more likely to regret having not tried for a dream than to have failed at it. This is particularly interesting because most of us think failure is about the worst thing that can happen to us but it turns out that not trying or playing it safe in our careers is what we should actually be worrying about.

Work-life balance is such a hot topic in the world of work right now so I was particularly interested in what these interviews could teach us about navigating those choices. What Izzo found was complex. While many people regretted having been too focused on work to the detriment of relationships and personal pursuits, others made the same sacrifices but had no regrets. Izzo says “It turns out that as we navigate the choices of balancing work and life, each of us has an inner voice that is speaking to us. Those people whose inner voice was telling that they were sacrificing too much or not being true to themselves had deep regrets.” The book has some poignant stories of those who failed to heed that inner voice. The bottom line-if you think your work-life mix is out of whack it probably is.

When I asked Izzo about his own regrets (being recently introduced to the over fifty club), he told me that his only regret mirrors what he heard from those he interviewed. “I look back and wish I had not been such a know- it-all earlier in my career. Instead of trying to prove how smart I was, I wish I had sought the advice of those who knew more than me.” In his interviews, many people talked about the importance of learning and growing throughout your career and that the more we keep learning the more success we discover. “Basically these people never got stuck in a rut; they were always trying to learn from people smarter than themselves.”

The most important thing Izzo learned about the things we regret was the importance of being true to self. Many of those, I’ve interviewed looked back and felt they were too influenced by others’ opinions. They told me how absolutely critical it is to follow your own definition of success. Don’t take that promotion or job because someone tells you it’s the natural next step. Make to ask yourself if that is the step you want to take.

A final lesson from these people is that status and power aren’t what you will remember as you look back. Rather, most people said it was the things they gave and the people they mentored that give them satisfaction. The town barber put it plainly: “The money in your wallet is not the definition of your success but how many lives you touched.” Turns out that is one thing the barbers and the CEO’s agreed on.

The standard PR hype that goes with an acquisition sounds something like this, “We are so impressed with management and the direction of the company that we are acquiring that we have no interest in changing them. In fact, we believe that we can learn a lot from all they have done right.”

While the acquiring company may actually believe this message at the time of the acquisition – this love- fest seldom lasts beyond a few quarters.

There is one seemingly obvious fact that an amazing number of employees in acquired companies never get:

THEY OWN YOU!

• As soon as your company is acquired forget about “us” and “them.” You are now part of “them” – the old “us” no longer exists. They can do whatever they want to do. Once you make peace with this fact, your life will be a lot easier. (If your old company’s management didn’t want to transfer ownership to the new owners – they shouldn’t have cashed the checks and deposited the money.)

• Accept the fact that you are now working for a different company. Don’t make assumptions about the future based upon your history with the old company. Realize that – as a professional – you may well be starting over. Learn what matters most to your new executives and new board.

• Look for the positives in the company that acquired yours. Face it, if you were so brilliant – and they were so stupid, how could the stupid they have acquired enough money to buy the brilliant you?

• Read the tea leaves. If it looks like you are going to have no future, because the acquisition will lead to “right-sizing” in your function, start looking for another job. Realize that the acquiring company may well have more loyalty to their previous employees than to you.

• Revisit how you are working. This acquisition may well bring resources that your previous company did not have. Consider how these resources can be leveraged to help you make a larger contribution than you have made in the past. Take advantage of these new resources to better serve your customers and stakeholders.

I hope that these suggestions are helpful to any readers in companies that have been – or are about to be – acquired.

What is your experience upon being acquired? Send in your comments. Any positives that can be emulated, or negatives that can be avoided, will be appreciated.