Harvard Business Publishing

I was about to write a comment about the quotation marks being slightly off in the middle of the article... when I got your point and had to smile. It's easy to critisize.

Hmmm, nice story, Marshall. Reminds me that it is often just one sentence or one written line from a leader or coach, or one small action, that has the most impact on someone else's life, and often the leader/coach will never know about the impact they had.

Since most leaders look for a big legacy, a 'what have I done' that they can look back on, knowing that often it's this hidden impact that changes the course of other people's lives, without the imparter of wisdom, often, ever seeing the result, reminds us that the unseen small ripples usually outweigh whatever we think we've built or whatever impact we think we had, looking back, at the end of our career.

The teacher who had the same impact on me as yours had on you was a geography teacher, whose simple note in the margin of an essay I had written said "Philip, you are very bright. How much more impact would you have if you stopped being so cynical?" It turned out to be 18 words that changed my life. And he'll never have known. Wish I knew where he was (if he's still alive) so I could tell him.

Similarly, I was lucky enough to get into Cambridge from a state school. Decades later I met someone who had been years below me at school, whom I hadn't met before, but who had seen me around the school. He said "I went to Cambridge because of you. When the headmaster stood up and announced that you had got in I suddenly stopped thinking 'We (brown people) don't go there. It's not for us.' And I went for it years later. And I got in."

It's only through chance encounters like that that we start to realize our life has an impact beyond anything we think we are doing at the time.

This is an excellent post and too true. I head up a public relations consulting firm and, yes, we often face frustrating obstacles to good communications with our clients -- and that impedes our ability to do the job they hired us to do!

So, at times like that it's so easy to start 'bitching' and opining on all that's wrong with the client or the situation.

But if you can't rise above these commonplace frustrations and keep the client looking forward to your calls, emails or meetings, then you won't get anywhere! As a leader in an organization, it's particularly important that I model this behavior for the younger employees in my group.

Marshall,

My goal for the next week is to follow Dr. Case's advice without fail. Didn't do so well in this morning's meeting, but the day is still young!

Alec

I'm a marketing consultant who specializes in working with attorneys, and they are particularly guilty of this. They key to marketing is to depict the terrific new future your client will have if they work with you. Instead, by training and inclination, most attorneys instead tend to dwell on the pending disasters they can help avert. True, maybe, but not to compelling. The post is here: http://peterdarling.typepad.com/business_development/2008/09/strategy-for-dealing-with-a-bad-economy-dont-care.html

Three weeks ago I asked my mentor (whom is my formal professor from an LL.M and works in the same industry) as to whether should I resign from my job. He told me to follow my heart. I was absolutely hopeless from changes in my P&L archaic hierarchy which simply means make my boss, my director and my VP agreed with their decisions and sustain them. I was exhausted, tired and manage chaos and coordinate lunatics is tough enough so I couldn’t handled to be also negative and judgmental. I simply love my job but when I realize that I was not having fun there anymore (I was working as a manager) and my job became a slavery, I ask my mentor for an advice. "follow your heart", he said. So, I do resign. Three weeks later I am now back in business, and as usual, having lots, lots of fun!

Three weeks ago I asked my mentor (whom is my formal professor from an LL.M and works in the same industry) as to whether should I resign from my job. He told me to follow my heart. I was absolutely hopeless from changes in my P&L archaic hierarchy which simply means make my boss, my director and my VP agreed with their decisions and sustain them. I was exhausted, tired and manage chaos and coordinate lunatics is tough enough so I couldn’t handled to be also negative and judgmental. I simply love my job but when I realize that I was not having fun there anymore (I was working as a manager) and my job became a slavery, I ask my mentor for an advice. Three weeks later I am now back in business, and as usual, having lots, lots of fun!

Hi Marshall,

A quick story from my life comes to mind.

I was in grade six - about 11 years old at the time. I played a lot of sports and did well at basketball, volleyball, and badmindton. In fact, I was one of the best athletes in middle school, receiving athlete of the year in my final year.

My grade six teacher's name ws Mr. Thode. He was one of those cool, "stick it to the man" kinda guys - always bringing his guitar into class and inventing funny songs with us - quick tempo, three cord transition kind of songs. He was wild and care-free, but looking back, wise too.

Maybe it was the way I carried myself as an 11 year old, maybe it was the way I talked, but one day he approached me and said "Ya know Matthew, you're a pretty athletic and talented guy", how about we schedule a day after school for a one-on-one match of badmindton and basketball (considering he said "that he had more ability in badmindton and I had more ability in basketball). In a way, we could teach each other something.

Anyway, he laid an absolute beating on me in badmindton, I didn't know what to say or do - no one had ever defeated me so badly. So then we switch over to basketball and we agree to play a game up to 10. After 15 minutes or so the score is 9-9 when finally he puts in the finishing lay up to end the game and win.

As the basketball's dribble rapidly deadened and made its way to a corner wall in the gym, Mr. Thode made his way over to the exit. Before he opened the door to leave, he half-turned to me and said "You know something Matthew, you are good, but you know what, you are also cocky." He then proceeded to leave the gym. As the door snapped shut I stood there in silence thinking to myself "You know what, he is right about me - I am cocky."

A person who possesses talent and ability need not boast about it - everyone around can see it.

So I owe thanks to Mr. Thode - he made a difference in my life.

Good story, thanks for sharing.

After joining a small-medium sized investor relations firm last year I was thoroughly surprised to learn that there was no knowledge database, very little sharing of information between various departments and only a loose project management system.

Coming from a CRM, Information Management and Tech Support background it was very hard to adjust, and thinking about the constant repetition of the same daily tasks by each staff member that could have been automated was causing me to lose sleep at night.

The basic problem was the company grew from a small company with around 10 staff into a medium-size company with around 150 staff in just a few years, but very few people have any experience with computer systems, and noone knew what tools they could use to save time and money.

Realizing this I thought it would be easy to implement a few IT solutions, save the company some cash and free everyone else to do the real work. That was where the problems really began though. It wasn't just that the upper ranks didn't understand computer systems, they didn't want to know about them, and anything new is viewed as dangerous.

It took weeks of to'ing and fro'ing (including to the lawyers!) to introduce even an excel spreadsheet to automate some basic information management.

Unfortunately, I can't say the problem is resolved. But, I have figured out one thing. If I want to get anything done, I have to prioritize. By focusing on one issue at a time, instead of complaining about the general state of things, I have been able to implement some changes and made life a little easier for myself and (I hope) the people in my team.

Phil, Matthew-Great stories! Thank you for sharing them with us.
Julie-I agree with you! Your post is so very true.
Alec-Keep plugging!
Khyara-Good for you!
Luke-It sounds like you are making great headway. Keep it up!

A great Lesson of course!

Really, if every body knows of a thing what new invention you have made as a leader or a manager? There are several positive and fun-filled methods for creativity rather than to adopt a negative attitude.

To go beyond mere advice-giving and into deep coaching requires going beyond merely not being a 'pain in the butt' into full acceptance and appreciation of the client as they are.

I say "acceptance and appreciation" but I mean love.

More here:
http://mayogenuine.com/blog/bring-the-love/

Phil - Speaking of meeting people. When did I meet you? Can you help me remember???

PS-Very true. I agree with you!
Tony-Love is good--as are appreciation and acceptance. Thank you for your thoughts!

As a real leader, at least he can have the sensitivity that something is wrong first, then find out the reason why and provide options to solve the problem or to improve the situation. Just like President Bush, I do not think he has the sensitivity of the real leader in the recent financial crisis.As a real leader, he should have foreseen this problems years ago.

Tony-Thank you for your thoughts!

Hi Marshall. How did we 'meet?' you asked. Well, virtually. I set up an online leadership community called The Leadership Hub and you and Patricia joined as expert members. This was a while ago and thru Patricia, so it's not a sign of memory fade! Also, I'm adviser to the Leaders in London annual summit - their speakers each year range from Al Gore to Jack Welch and Kofi Annan - and I've been working on them to extend their subject matter to leadership coaching, as I think they need a shot of your wisdom. When I succeed in getting them to extend the summit's remit to include leadership coaching, the only person they can ask to come and speak on it is you, as I told them you're the man. So, I'm hoping end of 2009, Marshall, if it fits in your diary. I'll keep you posted. All the best. Phil.

Dear Phil - Thank you very much for this update and your kind comments. I have a 'good heart' but a 'bad memory'!

Marshall,

You always make me stop and check. Your each article makes me check my behavior at work and in normal life.

You do certainly make an impact in my life.

Dear Marshall,

I admire your humility and brutal honesty. I am not as lucky to find a coach who could give me Dr. Case's much needed strokes. Help more and judge less as you mention in your book is a lesson I have begun to practice and trust me it is tough, very tough.

Thank you for sharing.

thanks. a simple, right solution for a common problem. i will put it on my note as a regular reminder.
vijay shrestha
kathmandu, nepal

It's easy to fall into the trap of becoming too critical or even negative in the pursuit of implementing good ideas and influencing people and organizational culture. Great insight, and thanks for the story, Marshall. It illustrates the point in a way that I'll recall every time my attitude changes from constructive to crummy.

Dr Case's philosophy is one I had for an entire 26 year career with a company called Enterprise Rent-a-Car. Strangely enough, this once fun-loving company evolved into a humorless bureaucracy, which I suppose happens when companies get too big for their own good. Still, I always had fun, and even wrote a book about my experience with this slice of Corporate America ("Life Under the Corporate Microscope"). If you're in business, my advice: Buy it, read it; you love it.

The advice that Marshal received and decided to follow, “star having some fun. Keep trying to make a constructive difference, but do it in a way that is positive for you and the people around you,” is very similar to the motto I try to live by—P.M.A (positive mental attitude). I am a firm believer that if you look at things in a positive light the situation will turn out better, and you will infect the people around you to be in a better spirit. Marshall was exhibiting one of Goldsmith’s “Twenty habits that hold you back from the Top,” specifically negativity, “the need to share our negative thoughts even when we weren’t asked” (Goldsmith, 40). Until Marshall made up his mind to be happy, and start approaching life and his work in a more optimistic way, he was just rotting in a downward spiral. It takes a committed, optimistic mind to enjoy work and be enjoyed by others.

I think we lawyers find it especially tricky to keep a positive frame of mind - too much time thinking about downside risks can be bad for one's health.

What a story Dr. Marshal!

I am one of the angry and judgmental employees in my company. Try to be Mr. Perfect on pointing out what is wrong and suggesting solution. It brought me nothing but resistance from peers. Should I get this advice a couple of years ago; it could have changed my life.

I am still 29 and this won’t be my last mistake. I am ready to have fun and build my relationship again.

Mesfin

It's indeed a fantastic story!! I haven't felt so inspired in the last 5 months as I've felt after reading this story.

To cut the long story short...I've recently migrated to the US and I can say with a great degree of confidence it has been almost 150 days of just bickering about how different the US is as compared to the UK, the public transport system and the works. What i considered as a form of personal expression became a constant nightmare for those around me...including myself. I found faults or differences in almost everything i did with no exception. This only made me more negative and judgmental...wasting my precious time and life sulking, being depressed and virtually without any enthusiasm or spunk.

after reading this article...i am keen to follow Dr Case's advice and have a LIFE!! I have my whole life in front of me and I'm determined to not waste it....

these are pearls of wisdom which I always knew but I didnt know that finding faults only made my life full of struggles instead of opportunities.. Need to start having some Fun in life..

I learned a valuable lesson at my last company.

I am passionate about helping others and very good at finding ways to do so. My last company was a startup, which likes having people who wear multiple hats and can help in many areas. Often I spend a lot of extra time creating materials to help my co-workers or the customers. But when I tried to help making things more efficient, or easir, I always ran into the "... but we've always done it this way" brick wall.

I realized I had to stop trying to help. You can only help those who are open to it.

Thanks for the story and most important the "message". We need this kind of
reinforcement many times in our life. Keep writing on similar topics.

Brilliant article

It not only lets you perform better at work but also in your personal life.

Thanks Marshall

Regards
Amol

Brilliant article! Well i am for sure that this article is going to make an impact in my life.

Thanks!