Why So Many Gen Ys Feel Overwhelmed

Posted by Tammy Erickson on April 5, 2008 9:37 AM

A lot gets written about Gen Y's good fortune, strong sense of immediacy and optimism.

But, as with most things, there is a tradeoff. It is also becoming clear that there is a dark lining to these positive attributes. Many Gen Ys are also feeling overwhelmed by high expectations and multiple choices. In one survey, over 60 percent of recent high school graduates surveyed said that they had experienced some of the symptoms doctors use to diagnose clinical depression. (See Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in Your Twenties by Alexandra Robbins and Abby Wilner).

If you’re a Gen Y, feeling overwhelmed and wondering why this great life is not shaping up to be everything you’d imagined – or if you’re the parent or friend of a Y who seems to be struggling, here is some context to consider.

Gen Y’s optimism creates high expectations. Most Ys envision life as an adult as highly successful. Some have views that are unrealistic. And, as Barry Schwartz discussed in The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less, unlimited choices mean endless decisions.

The transition to adulthood is arguably more challenging than ever before: the costs of an education and of housing are increasing rapidly, globally competitive labor markets complicate career issues, and wages in most Western economies are stagnating, particularly for men. Ys are transitioning from a world in which they were on a pretty clear and narrow path – they knew what classes to take and what was required to succeed. But the challenges they now face are numerous and complex: choosing a career, a city, a company, a role, colleagues, for some, as life partner – determining how to trade-off multiple priorities, money, passions and aspirations – planning how to get out of debt, start a family (or a business), buy a home. The number and complexity of new decisions facing Gen Y can easily cause some to feel overwhelmed.

Then there’s the issue of our pace of life. The number of people who say that “always feel rushed” more than doubled between the mid-1960s and mid-1990s in the United States, with people aged 25 to 34 feeling most anxious about everything that needs to be done. Older Ys in particular, those who have entered the workforce, are likely to feel busier and more stressed than ever. Robert Putnam discussed the sense of isolation that comes from this faster pace in Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community.

Overlying these situational factors is the reality that the onset of depressive disorders most commonly occurs in an individual’s mid-twenties. (See “Families at High and Low Risk for Depression: A 3-Generation Study from theArchives of General Psychiatry) While depression is sometimes linked to family history or genetic tendencies, depressive episodes also result from situational stress. And, Ys today live in an era of introspection and may be experiencing their surroundings differently than preceding generations – with greater deliberation and angst.

The symptoms of depression include sadness, frequent crying, feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, changes in appetite or sleeping habits, or general lack of motivation to do things you once enjoyed. If you are experiencing several of these symptoms, you are by no means alone, nor should you be surprised. By definition of where Gen Ys are in life, you inevitably face a number of major situational changes – and these can easily trigger depression.

Alarmingly, in the same survey in which 62% of recent high school graduates said that they had experienced some of the symptoms of clinical depression, only 7% had sought help. Individuals in their 20’s rarely seek treatment for psychological disorders because of a lack insurance, time, money, or information on where to get help. This inability to reach out often increases the sense of isolation.

I’m not a medical professional but I do know that lots of help is available. If you are experiencing even a couple of the symptoms of depression, please reach out. If your friend or family member is struggling, encourage him or her to seek help. For most, this is just a transitional phase that may be helped by a little guidance and support. And if more help is needed, it is there.

What has your experience been? Have you noticed the Gen Ys in your life struggling with being overwhelmed or even depressed? How have you helped?

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Comments

Tammy:

Great input and article citations.

I am Gen Y (just in the beginning of the group at almost 25 years old now), and having just one year since I graduated from College I am faced with a lot of new decisions.

What you cite here are definitely things I have experienced, and things I face nearly everyday:

Overly High Expectations:
I am very close to my father, who has been a very successful software executive. He is about to turn 60, but I have been seeing and sharing in his way of life for a while (high income, extensive travel, and the other things one sees highlighted on TV). This creates a gap between what I expect as a standard of living, and what is rational/possible at this stage of my life. Similarly, many Gen Y have older parents, and have had little connection/experience with their parents' lives as the parents we re "getting started."

Depression/Isolation from Too Many Choices:
I often reflect on whether I am in the "right" position, and/or doing the "right" things in each area of my life. There are just so many options I am aware of and which could be available. However, I have also learned that one is never happy/content unless one accepts the present moment and works their hardest in the field they are in at the time. This is a constant paradox, and while I do seek the advice of others, I am never the less forced to make my own choices because I neither have nor truly want other people or circumstances to force me into one choice versus another.

The increasing cost of adulthood:
Combine the pursuit of high expectations and the confusion of too many choices for potentially attaining those expectations, and you have a recipe for upset. Top it off with a falling dollar, increasing pr ices, and uncertain earning potential. The result is fear of failure, and a resistance to make life long decisions/investments, such as selecting a career, settling down with a spouse, or starting a family.

From these examples you may see the Resistance underlying my life at this time, and perhaps the lives of my peers as well. (This is verified in some but not all of my friendships.)

A theory of mine is that "Love = Acceptance - Resistance" in each area of life.

Therefore, I miss out on the full/ideal Love that is possible for me, in direct relation to the Resistance I experience and create for myself.

I wanted to contribute to this discussion, yet I am not trying to alarm anyone. My new company and career are great and exciting parts of my life. I am very glad to be a part of a company where conversations like this have a forum and can produce positive results for companies, employees, and people in general.

At the same time, these thoughts and this general perspective impact my performance. Since I have a pay-for-performance compensation plan, this also affects my income, which then spirals back into the conversations about expectations, standard of living, fears of failure, and resistance to commit to my choices.

What is interesting to me, and not present yet in this conversation is HOW we (Gen Y, and above) can shape work and personal life to minimize the impact of these challenges, thereby, optimizing the love and energy available to and from these key players in the next generation of enterprises...

Even the number of choices in techniques, counselors, and therapies can be overwhelming!

- Posted by Matt Woodhill
April 8, 2008 4:04 PM

Hi Matt --

Special thanks for sharing your own experience. I have been both surprised and, to be honest, somewhat alarmed, to learn how common these feelings are among people in their 20's today. Contrary to all the (I think, ridiculous) articles that are written about how entitled your generation is and how easy your childhood has been, the reality is that many members of Gen Y are struggling with serious feelings of being overwhelmed and, for some, depressed.

Over the last several months, I've made a point of discussing this issue with any Gen Y's I interview. When I mention that some research indicates that as many as 60% of all Gen Y's may be clinically depressed, the general reaction I've received is "yes, that seems right, based on my circle of friends."

This is a serious issue. I hope others will join the discussion.

Best wishes,

Tammy

- Posted by Tammy Erickson
April 9, 2008 12:04 PM

Hi Again,

I'm going through your prior articles, one at a time. I fully feel everything you have on this. Wish you could have spread this news before all those college or generation y's violently expressed themselves on their campus to the world & their fellow students. Each generation is fully aware of everything socially happenining on their college campus or school. Since I am asian with a hardcore asian mom, I thought it was just me -- the joy luck club girl. However, it wasn't. My school didn't make it known to students that counseling opportunities were avaiable. Two years after college, I went to talk to a counselor with my mom. My cousnelor insured that I wasn't alone with this family problem, or just stressed problem. =) Is there a reason my generation feels this way? I thought everyone feels like this when life after college or 'reality' is coming close.

- Posted by Diana
May 3, 2008 5:02 PM

"... But the challenges they now face are numerous and complex: choosing a career, a city, a company, a role, colleagues, for some, as life partner – determining how to trade-off multiple priorities, money, passions and aspirations – planning how to get out of debt, start a family (or a business), buy a home. The number and complexity of new decisions facing Gen Y can easily cause some to feel overwhelmed. ..."

These "challenges" aren't unique to Gen Y. These are the same decisions Gen X (and probably Boomers) had to make. It's just part of growing up. Have these kids been so coddled all of their lives that they can't make choices without worrying themselves sick -- literally? Every decision doesn't require overthinking and a SWOT analysis. (Hey Matt, are you listening?)

- Posted by A. Parker
May 18, 2008 10:46 PM

As I am reading this, and others comments... Yes A., we were coddled. Told we were so great, so smart, so good at everything. The captain of the football team, the straight C student, the partying slacker. We were all told how wonderful we were by our parents, teachers, etc. We ALL went to college with the dream job envisioned and that high income lifestyle we so enjoyed as children, ahead in the future for us. Reality is that the world we are living in now is not the same as the one our parents were in. A degree does not guarantee you a good job anymore. Sometimes it barely gets your foot in the door. And we go into these interviews "knowing" how good we are at everything. You can't get a job if you don't have experience. How can you have experience if you can't get a job. It's a Catch 22. Our generation, or the next, needs to realize that not all of us are meant to go to college. Who's gonna fix your car when it breaks down? Who's gonna work on the power plant when it needs maintenance? These are the guys that are gonna make the big bucks. Because everyone's walking around with this $50000+ piece of paper that will get them nowhere. My mom stayed at home and raised us, while dad worked 9-5. Now, I think being a stay-at-home mom is probably a luxury not everyone can afford. And there ARE more decisions out there. And yeah, they are tougher to make. When the dollar is so thin, and you only have so much and need two incomes to make it happen, yeah a big decision. You want to have children, but kids are so expensive, can you actually afford it?? Should I buy a fixer-upper? Maybe a duplex and rent out the other side? Maybe I should build - maybe a modular? The housing market is good, but maybe I should just rent? All this is to try to squeeze the last penny out of everything you have and everything you do. My point is, all of us have had this easy, successful, fairy tale existance mapped out for ourselves, which is crashing down on us. It's not gonna happen. The cheerleading captain will go get a degree in communications. No, she's not gonna be the news anchorwoman. She'll be a receptionist. This is reality and you just have to come to terms with - and be comfortable with it. And then hopefully those feelings of failure will subside. I know the feeling - and I never envisioned I'd still be eating ramen noodles at age 28. After awhile, they kinda grow on you. I'm not saying that your future looks bleak, I'm just saying you need a reality check. I love my job. I'm not paid what I'm worth, this isn't what I went to college for, but I'm lucky because I'm comfortable and happy with where I am right now. It's no fairy tale, but it is reality.

- Posted by Kt
May 21, 2008 1:17 PM