As a Generation Y'er, I often find myself in a situation you described. And as a result, I often find myself feeling guilty for breaking the protocol.

In the organizations I've been involved with, the culture does not cater to this Boomer - Generation Y relationship. It is as though I am wasting money by requesting their expertise; their wages are great enough that it is not worth the capital investment of my growth or the development of my ideas. These feelings arise from the remnants of the hierarchy process, but I still end up going straight to those Boomers, like you've described.

Maybe it is my expert-based and just-in-time learning mentality, but I think it is something more than that. I feel either that it is a sense of entitlement or a sense of equality in my capabilities of good thought. Equality of thought, like globalization, acknowledges that good ideas should get the attention they deserve, regardless of the history and where they came from. For some reason, I feel that this attention cannot be obtained if not done through upper-management.

Hi Alex --

Thanks very much for sharing your experience.

I'm curious whether you might be picking up most of the messages intended to discourage you from going to the Boomers from your Gen X managers? I've found that many senior Boomers really enjoy the interactions -- perhaps after they get over a bit of surprise (and perhaps they're not admitting it openly) -- but they tell me privately that they're enjoying the relationships.

At the same time, its important to be considerate of the position your direct supervisor is in. He or she undoubtedly feels accountable for your activities -- and no one likes feeling out of the loop or being caught by surprise. I'd suggest you keep your direct boss fully up to date on the conversations you're having, so that he/she doesn't get in a position of being asked about something he/she has no clue about.

Thanks again.

All the best,

Tammy

Tammy--

As a Boomer working with both Gen X and Y (Millenials) I have found that Y's definitely want mentor relationships. The reason that they end up with Boomers is that Xers are just not interested in developing these relationships. The Xer is extremely independent and seems unwilling to take time away from their schedules to foster these relationships. So the young Y moves to other sources of mentoring, that being the Boomer.

The shadow effect that Strauss and Howe talk about in "The Fourth Turning" really does seem to play out in this discussion. The hardest part in my company is encouraging the Boomer leadership to be proactive in developing these relationships, rather than waiting for the young Y to make the effort. If corporate America is going to be successful in retaining and developing this future leadership generation, then more emphasis must be placed on fostering these very important relationships.

Good discussion. Thank you.
Pete

As a Generation Y'er, I have observed that I place higher value in the mentorship of Boomers (senior executives inside and outside the company I work for) due to perceived credibility by virtue of longer work experience and a more "laid-back" mentor-mentee relationship fit for imparting and receiving corporate wisdom, devoid of the urge for Gen Y'ers to compete with the Boomers.

I feel that this is not the case with the Gen X'ers. The perception that they're just a step ahead levels the field enough for competition to sprout with Gen Y'ers.

Great topic!

As a generation XY I feel that boomer-Y relationships should be encouraged...on the other hand, the positions to which Gen Y's report to will be Gen X. As a Y, you should be cognizant of the protocols as these Xers will be the ones hiring you for senior positions. In short, don't tick them off.

Stand up for a round of applause Tammy.

Enlightenment AND Entertainment are what Gen Y's bring to my professional (legal) days.

This semi-retired Boomer and Y colleagues are in the first blush of mutual mentoring.

Ys motivate me; Xers motivate me to quit my blended workspace!

X v. Y? Verdict = Y rock!

X is only a concept; Y is only a concept.
And the older these concepts get the less relevant they are because they are static as are their advocates. Each individual branded X Y XY is dynamic and growing as is this 49er.

Just passing by; like you style Tammy.

As a tail end Generation X’er (D.O.B. 1979) I find myself utilizing many of the positive traits of both the Gen X’ers and Gen Y’ers. I am in a Corporate Management position, but feel responsible for teaching the Gen Y’ers the ropes of the corporate world. I have seen the “Boomers” more put off by the technological and speedy talking of the Gen X’ers and Gen Y’ers. However like any comparison there are always exceptions. My boss, who is a Boomer, exhibits Gen X’er qualities along with the Boomer qualities. That most likely is directly related to our business relationship and the trust that is exhibited between us and our teams. I have seen the Gen Y’ers desire the mentoring relationships as long as they can do it together or as a group. The independency of the Gen X’ers has not been carried over to the Gen Y’ers, from what I have seen. However if you set expectations and have clearly defined goals and outcome developed for the Gen Y’ers, they excel.

Very interesting discussion. You can tell that the one really negative comment was made by an Xer because a Yer would never be that rude nor would they feel the need to "strut their stuff".(Generalization of course).

Boomers are natural mentors as they are at a stage in their life in which they are comfortable, on the whole, with their accomplishments. Xers are still looking for the recognition the Boomers already have and that the Yers don't feel compelled to strive for. It's not that the Yers are not goal oriented or hard workers, but its more that they enjoy a work/life balance where striving for knowledge is important. The old saying that a child is seen and not heard, doesn't hold water anymore. Yers have grown up talking to their parents and their parents friends and being included in the discussions, and not put at "the children's table".

Being part of X generation myself. I can understand how frustrating it is for me. The communication link established between Y and boomer's sometimes bypass the roles & responsibility matrix, destroy the reporting structure and we only come to know of an issue from third and fourth link unknown to us.

It also happens that an issue of high importance, which should have been agreed and approved at X level is discussed among boomer's and Y's and destroy the trusted relation ship for X with Y and X with boomer's both links up and down the chain of command.

I believe X have no objection so far for the communication link between Y and boomer's unless and until X is kept informed.

It seems that Boomers and Y'ers are in a position to make, or at least advocate for, transformational change that would benefit all involved, to include X'ers.

It is unfair and counter-productive to attempt to bypass the Generation X mid-managers. The current infrastructure in corporations and government still hold them (Xers) accountable. Meeting and reviews still happen from the top down (although 360 feedback is increasingly popular). The "system" does not encourage or reward the Boomer-Y connection as described in the above entries. All these realities could be changed by the Boomer upper managers.

So, if they truly value this newfound relationship, the Boomers need to commit to make real transformations in their accountability of the Gen X managers, routine management of projects, and generally how the Gen X managers are evaluated. If there is one characteristic of a Gen X'er that is to be admired is that they will do the needful. If that is redefined by their bosses (the Boomers), the Gen Y'ers will find nothing but a warm and supportive embrace by their immediate managers.

In a way, the X'ers are just the baby sitters following the rules set down by the Boomer parents. It's unfair to hold them accountable for making sure the Y kids do their homework, only to find that Mom and Dad allow the kids to skip school altogether.

Tell the baby sitter it's okay, and they'll adjust.

John

Y generation are more aggressive when it comes to doing their jobs maybe because they want to learn and be part of the organization, as much as they want to prove themseves and to the senior manager that they are capable of the position they are in. however there are times where Y'ers have exceeded the boundary that it should pass, sometimes they put the X'ers out of the context or being ignored. Remebering that in the organization whether it be corporate sector or government sector, It is still important to give utmost value of communication, either from the top level down to the lower level in the organization or in other way around.

Posted by
Mariafe

Don't many young eager employees want the opportunity to learn from experienced colleagues and middle managers find themselves having to manage both sides of the coin? Wasn't it like that 30 or 40 years ago? So is the whole Boomer - GenX - GenY deal anything new as such? Or is it more to do with a liberalising of communication channels and cycles of flatter organisational structures that support a more approachable culture?

The core issue is the same regardless of time...senior employees have experience to set the tone, young bright employees are eager to develop their careers and those in between have the challenge of managing hierarchial structures that may frustrate younger employees. Mature employees of any level will handle this with appropriate care and direction.

GenY label may be a good tag...but be careful, get it wrong and in the context of a specific situation GenY may just become a lame excuse for incompatible, potentially destructive, organisational behaviour.

I believe there is a core aspect of this relationship being overlooked. As a whole, GenY has shown a propensity to devalue "experience" based strictly upon time served.

We value intellect, contribution, open minds, hard work, and expansive knowledge of the business. Whether those values are found in GenX-ers, Babyboomers, or Prehistoric cavemen is of little importance. We value those that we respect and admire, as well as those that return that respect and admiration when warranted.

I have found both worthless and indispensable employees come from every generation. If GenX employees are indeed getting bypassed, perhaps we should stop discussing this "parental bonding" experience with Babyboomers, and instead take an introspective look at why GenY doesn't see value in their counsel (despite their tenure).

I hope this is helpful, albeit just a thought. But as some of my GenX counterparts constantly try to remind me: Im just a kid, so what do I know?

-pfh

Great Topic Tammy. You ignited many thoughts with regards to Yer - Boomer Relationship.

I have seen few who have build successful Yer - Boomer relationships and have gained more respect and consideration from Xers. Frankly say Xers are forced to do so, because their bosses (boomer) do. Along with this statement I would say 'BEWARE'. Because if you are a Yer, it would cost you much if your bond with the Boomer is weak. Xer could break it any time.

Few reasons why Yers try to establish Boomer relationship are:
• Yer find the Xer not competent to be his boss
• The Yer feels that the Xer is diffusing his enthusiasm by not appreciating his work and ideas.
• The Yer thinks the Xer underestimate his capacity

The reasons may be right or wrong; but no doubt Yer – Boomer relationship is a challenge to the Xer. It is high time for Xer to realize that the Yer is to be treated with more respect and consideration.

Great Topic Tammy. You ignited many thoughts with regards to Yer - Boomer Relationship.

I have seen few who have build successful Yer - Boomer relationships and have gained more respect and consideration from Xers. Frankly say Xers are forced to do so, because their bosses (boomer) do. Along with this statement I would say 'BEWARE'. Because if you are a Yer, it would cost you much if your bond with the Boomer is weak. Xer could break it any time.

Few reasons why Yers try to establish Boomer relationships are:
• Yer find the Xer not competent to be his boss
• The Yer feels that the Xer is diffusing his enthusiasm by not appreciating his work and ideas.
• The Yer thinks the Xer underestimate his capacity

The reasons may be right or wrong; but no doubt Yer – Boomer relationship is a challenge to the Xer. It is high time for Xer to realize that the Yer is to be treated with more respect and consideration.

In my experiences I've found the opposite to be true. I'm 24 years old and I've found my best mentoring relationships to come from co workers who are roughly 8-10 years older than me and are only one step up from me. They can remember what it was like to start out as a professional and are more like to offer unsolicited advice or to assist me with a problem. My higher up supervisors tend to be too busy for such a relationship, and I tend to be more formal with them.

My theory is the value of "connectedness" on the part of the Boomers lends itself to the Gen-Y relationship. Gen-X'ers are very independent and less likely to be good mentors. As a Boomer I find the Gen-X perplexing and difficult to manage because I do not understand them.

Cultural anthropologist Virgina Cornue has some great commentary about this "gap" at Vaboomer -- http://www.Vaboomer.com

Tamara, great job -- continue to help us understand.

Hmm. Seems to me like Boomers and Xers don't get along because many Xers(not me, actually, but most of my friends) had to be the "adults" in families with parents busy "finding themselves", who exhibited a maddening combination of wanting to be their kids' "best friend" AND randomly switching to total authority-mode. Like firstborns in general, Xers were given more responsibility, and more rules. Then the Yers come along, parents have mellowed, Yers never had to deal with their hypocrisy and therefore take them as whatever Boomers present themselves to be. Xers are left annoyed at Boomers that the rules have changed, and annoyed at the Yers for not seeing through the Boomers' self-satisfied fragile new role. Boomers haven't ever given much thought to why Xers find them so annoying and untrustworthy, and instead just find Xers "difficult". It's easier to like the kid who just sees you as "dad", instead of the kid who you once put in the position of nursing you through a breakdown.

Likewise in business, Xers had to deal with the blustery "kid like you knows nothing about this business" when trying to explain new technology like the internet. Now the internet is hot, Boomers willing to listen, but too embarrassed to hear "I told you so" from Xers, so they take input from Yers like it's news they never heard before so they get to exhibit how open-minded and with-it they are. Ignore the Xers and you get to pretend you were never wrong.

I definitely agree with Tina's last comment. I am an early generation Yer(1981) that was put into the position of being that adult in the household at an early age. As a result I am definitely more independent and tend to trust my superiors both Boomers and Xers less. Although my values tend to be more aligned with the Boomers.
I would love to learn from Gen Xers because I think they are more in tune to what is going on now and their work ethics. However, I often feel like they give me the cold shoulder because they view me as competition for career advancement.

Boomers are just more approachable when you have a question or problem. However I am not blind to the fact that Gen Xers were treated the same way by Boomers at one point. Boomers are now in the relax mode of their careers now so they're more receptive to sharing their knowledge. Unfortunately Gen X is always going to suffer from the middle kid syndrome unless they bend a little more.

-Regina

I have to agree with Tina too. Particularly, this line: "Boomers haven't ever given much thought to why Xers find them so annoying and untrustworthy, and instead just find Xers "difficult". It's easier to like the kid who just sees you as "dad", instead of the kid who you once put in the position of nursing you through a breakdown."

Gen Xers know the Boomers for the flawed hypocrites they are, and so it's maddening to have Gen Y & Boomers love fest because we know the real deal and it isn't the stuff they're selling the Y's.

Boomers haven't been mentors to GenX - I've sought out mentors and the Boomers simply aren't interested - so how are GenXers to mentor when we've not been mentored? and then to see boomers mentor the Ys - it only reinforces that distrust that we have of Boomers and the corporate world.

Gen Xer here. I think the lovefest between the boomers and Ys reflect the weaknesses in both generations. Boomers spent most of their time smacking down the ideas of gen Xers when they were new to the work world in order to maintain their high standing and leadership positions.

Now the Boomers are closing in on retirement and they are looking to pass on their "tremendous" wisdom. So do they go to the people who's throats they stepped on for a decade? NAH go to generation Y who is so clueless on matters such as accountability, teamwork, problem solving, etc. they feel needed. Generation Y then continues to be the parented generation. Leaving Gen Xers to continue to bear the burden. But we are slackers right? Please.