Harvard Business Publishing

My recent "Three Traits of a 'Me First' Manager" provoked a strong response. Two of you wrote to say that I could be writing about your boss; another of you said that you had scars to prove it. Some of you agreed that me-firstism stems from managerial incompetence. Thank you for these insights.

Your comments confirmed something else I've learned from my years of teaching and commenting on management and leadership, that stories about bad managers trump stories of good managers. The reason seems to be that more of us relate to being wronged by a manager than being lauded by one. (For more proof, see David Silverman's terrific posts on bad bosses).

But judged by your insightful comments, you're not going to sit back and take it. Like the news anchor gone mad in Paddy Chayefsky 's wickedly satirical Network, you're "mad as hell and not going to take it anymore" from me first managers. But what you may be lacking is an effective approach to taking back your work life from them. Let me offer some suggestions.

Keep your head about you. Me first bosses are like cockroaches; they can survive anything. So before you make any move, know that your boss is watching and act accordingly. First and foremost, keep doing a good job. Do not go behind your boss, but work around him. This is the difference between scheming and producing. In the former, you're trying to make someone look bad (that's what me firsters do). In the latter, you are doing your job well and helping your team succeed in spite of me firsters.

Think tactically. The next time your boss goes AWOL to avoid trouble, make certain you invite his boss into your department. Ask him for his advice on next steps. If he asks where your boss is, you feign ignorance. Once you create a rapport with your boss's boss, you open the door for your team to demonstrate its competence. When you act as a team, you avoid showboating; you will demonstrate that you are doing the right thing for your company.

Look over the horizon. Employees subjugated by a bad boss feel like they don't have options. So you have to create options for yourself. You won't always be in the position you are now. You do have choices that extend beyond leaving your employer. You can acquire more skills, seek more responsibilities, and look for new and different jobs within your department or company.

How you implement these ideas will determine your success, but as you think about your situation now, consider your future. As your career progresses and you gain more authority over others, what will you do differently? Could you find yourself becoming a me first boss? Your first impulse would be to say no way, but think of your boss today. Might he or she have said the same thing five years ago? Acknowledging the possibility is the first step in avoiding me firstism. It will keep you vigilant in your quest to do what's best for the team rather than what's best for you.

So, as you ponder your situation, know that you will make a positive difference and work to make it so. That is not simply good management; it's what we call leadership.

Tell me about how you overcame the shortcomings of a me first boss.